Sex Jokes

How is sex like air? It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.

How do lesbians have sex? It’s too complicated. I’d have to show you.

You should know its important to wash your sex toys that's why priests invented baptism

Why are vegetarians so good at giving head? Because they’re used to having nuts in their mouth

Can't have a smoke with my girl after sex, she's asthmatic

Plus she's too young to smoke

My girlfriend asked my whether I was having sex behind her back and I replied "yes who did you think it was".

Little red riding hood says to the wolf: what a big dick you have wolf:the better to F*** you with!

whoever took my dildo

I hope your having a good time

How are shark eggs and your mam the same? There both the biggest thing ever laid.

Swallow cum, not gum.

How do you tell when your wife is dead?

The sex is the same, but the dishes pile up.

If you wait for a woman to get 9 months pregnant and kill her, you will never be able to stop the loop.

My girl got mad at me last night for saying to my mom that she had a dildo ready at all times and is always hard so my mom wanted to see so I wiped out my penis and my mom said it’s bigger than your dads

sex sex sex free sex tonight i mean 666-3629

If a heterosexual man wanted his dick sucked what would a feminist say to him that a gay man would never say to him? not now I have a headache

What do you call that big, useless piece of skin attached to the outside of a vagina? A woman.

Scissoring is nice when I grind my wee wee on my wife’s clit. Humping that little guy is like riding a wet butt plug.

The best night of my life was when gave my virginity to wife and her last word was when she called me “Mommy” at the top of her lungs before I knocked her up 😍.