Sex jokes
I have an awesome sex drive. My girlfriend lives 40 miles away.
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
You can't jelly your cock into a girl's mouth.
Some people ask why jokes exist. I say, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much, they have sex, and they make another one of you.
Husband: Honey, do you want sex?
Wife: No, thanks, I have a headache.
Husband: Is that your final answer?
Wife: Mmmmm.
Husband: Are you sure?
Wife: Yes.
Husband: No doubts?
Wife: No.
Husband staring a long time at his wife.
Husband: Okay, I wanna use my lifeline to call a friend.
Why was Liverpool better than Man United? We won 5-0, and you have a sex offender on your team.
This is a lot like anal sex.
You always miss 100% of the shots if you don't take it.
What is long and hard and full of seamen?
A submarine.
Why is there only a glory hole in the handicapped stall in some public men's restrooms?
Because a gay man that is not physically handicapped can't receive a blow job from a gay man that is physically handicapped under the handicapped stall.
I'm late for my interview! Do you know where the nearest sex offender registry is?
What’s the best part about having sex with 28 year olds?
There are 20 of them.
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Kaleb: Addison, are you okay???
Addison: Not at all. People think I'm annoying and stupid! Do you?
Kaleb: Yes, once I pound you in the ass.
Little Johnny was learning about anal sex, when he learned what it was he said, "My uncle just calls this shhhhh..."
Well, the "HOLE" story is, I shoved it up her hole.
Gwen pegs Xavier.
Your penis is literally BLUE!
My girlfriend broke up with me because I have a small dick. Too bad for her, because I give good sex.
Nutty.
Q. What does Michael Jackson get his sex partners as a gift?
A. Crayons.
Zaine Davis and Stephen Hawking fuck each others brains out.