Sex jokes
Why did the sperm cross the road?
Because he put the wrong sock was put on.
Hehe.
Your mother is such a slut, she should be in the NFL hall of fame for the greatest wide receiver!
What does a girl get after having sex with Batman?
Defective rabies.
I asked my daddy what sex was. He said, "Wanna cum and try it?"
What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One to trust and the other to thrust.
Women are like marshmallows because they are white, squashy, and we put our sticks inside you.
Q. What's a dog's favourite type of sex? A. Ruff.
2 weeks here.
What do dicks and popsicles have in common?
They both like to be sucked on, and they sometimes choke you.
It’s disappointing that Los Angeles doesn’t offer better transportation, especially since my neighbor offers free mustache rides every night.
What do the initials UAW stand for?
United Awesome Whores.
What's funny about sex? I don't get it!
Why can’t an emo have sex?
They can’t make it to the bed, they kept swinging on the tree.
Consent before sex is a joke. It's just politically correct feminazi propaganda.
Are you still a virgin?
If you do IT
With no one?
Indian porn
Ooooh oooh oooh
Baaaaaa
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams, "Bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied, "Aunts and uncles." Oh.
Next thing he hears is, “Dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he knows, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling, "Fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, Dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh.
Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings. Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, Dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."
What's the difference between a gay and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
I was up all night because my neighbors were having sex.
*I was actually up all night watching.*
When it is quiet when you're having sex and you ask your partner to "Do the roar!"
Nancy be like, "Don't do drugs, do cock!"