Sex jokes
Women are like iPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberrys, rub one ball and everything moves!
In 69, the 6 looks like someone facing up. The 9 looks like someone facing down.
69 looks like 2 people suck each other’s dick. That means, L7.
How does a blonde turn off the light after having sex?
She opens the car door.
The best part of you ran down your mother's leg... Einstein got ready to climax while doing math but realized you can't cumtilyain cumtilion. It's after sucktillion fucktillion.
I suck my dick.
Linda and Peter are having sex. Peter goes in and out hard then fast and then begins to taste her tits. Finally, he moves down to the vagina and eats her hard. His rouge is inside her body, lolling around. He fucks her hard again and his dick slicks up her vagina. The entire time she is moaning and begging for more.
When Linda cums on his penis she begins to lick his balls hard. Peter begins moaning too saying, "Linda, you're just as amazing at fucking as your sister."
What do you call a necrophiliac gangbang?
Cracking open a cold one with the boys.
I had morning wood one day. Then my sister saw it and said, "I can help!"
Men wake up with a boner.
Women wake up yawning.
Coincidence?
Tongue Trick Sex: The Movie.
Not coming soon!
What’s the best part about banging twenty-eight year olds? There are twenty of them.
What do you call the woman that fucked sooooooo many hunks to have the condom break and a failure to be born? Ur Mum.
What's the difference between a porn star and a mosquito?
One stops sucking when you smack it.
If two people who have the clap sleep together, did they make an applause?
You like to draw? Because I like the MD, raw :)
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and touched Jill's thigh and said, "I know you wanna." Jill said yes, took off her dress, and then they had some fun. But silly Jill forgot her pills, and now they have a son.
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
There was one girl. She met 5000 guys. She had sex with each of them seven times. She became... - flip screen (=).
Why can't an orphan have sex?
Because they can't call them "daddy."
What does a pulse and an orgasm have in common? I don't care if she has one.