Sex jokes

My girlfriend who is a Jehovah's Witness had sex with me so hard, she turned to Christianity.

Roblox Brookhaven be like:

"ABC if you wanna be adopted."

"ABC if you wanna be my friend."

"ABC if you wanna be a banker."

"ABC if you wanna rob the bank."

"ABC if you wanna date."

"ABC if you wanna sex."

What's the best thing about a prostitute dying on you during sex?

The second hour is free.

When people say they get ho's: You don't get no ho's, the only ho's you get is in yo draws.

Your mom said my cum tastes like Captain Crunch, bitch.

My girlfriend asked, "Why is this test so long and hard?"

I then said, "You know what else is long and hard..."

She was amazed!

My parents told me that when they had sex, it was absolutely shambles.

Thankfully, it turned out that they were real balls.

What should people do with their floppy dicks?

I give them a good wiggle waggle to raise awareness of something!

There's only one reason our Education Minister is standing by this curriculum.

In her religion, you NEVER pull out.

Kaleb: Addison, are you okay???

Addison: Not at all. People think I'm annoying and stupid! Do you?

Kaleb: Yes, once I pound you in the ass.

One time I fucked this chick so hard, she almost came back to life.

I fucked a wall.

My penis is so polite. It stands up so girls can sit down.

Why did my [redacted] a girl because she said, "Uh."

Orgasm means two things:

1. During you masturbate.

2. You torture phantoms.

I tried to have phone sex once.

But the holes were too small.

This ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road, and she started gagging on it a little, and he said, "Oh yeah baby, you like that big dick, don't ya?" and she said, "Oh baby, it's not that, ya asshole stinks!"

Roses are red, violets are purple, lay in my bed so I can suck your nurple.

Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God.

It’s like masturbation. Sometimes it’s not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. That’s what thighjobs are for.

What did the leper say to the hooker? "You can keep the tip."