Sex jokes
A big hefty porker left his balls exposed and said,
"Misses!! Come here and step upon mine balls, please!!! I pay top dollar for this extreme delight!"
She pippity popped his balls like there was no tomorrow.
And he said "yuh yuh ay ay crush these nuts nuts!"
Two pencils walking down the street.
Which one hasn’t got AIDS?
The one with the rubber on.
Why can't orphans convert to Catholicism?
Because Catholics believe in no sex before marriage.
What do you call nuts on a chin?
My penis in your mouth.
Dick cheese, booty hole, yellow cum shot, anal shit, dick hole, ass brownies.
penis.
I like penis.
What do lovely men and tampons have in common?
Both lick up the juices of the women they were made for.
Prostitutes remind me of chewese.
One time a girl was telling her boyfriend if she could have sex with him for just a little bit, and he said sure, so she just started having sex. She asked him if they could have a baby, but he said sure and started going hard. She told him she was joking, but he wouldn't get off. So she did the 69, and months later, she died, and he said he thinks he killed her with sex.
Why did Brandon's mum chase him with a knife? Because he didn't let her cum first!
One day whilst walking up a hill, Jack saw a prostitute named Jill. Jill was dressed in kinky, leather gear that made Jack really, really horny.
Jack, who hadn't stuck it in for a few weeks, was keen to ask this sexy young maiden how much she would charge. "1 buck for a suck, 2 buck for a fuck," she said as she stroked his ever-hardening one-eyed snake.
"Yeah, I'll have both of them," said Jack, who was about to cum in his trousers. So Jill led Jack to behind the well, and they sucked and fucked for an hour. After that, they both contracted AIDS and died of it, as they did not see a doctor. THE END
How does a blonde turn off the light after having sex?
She opens the car door.
Lady: I am going to come to your house.
Man: Ok.
An hour later, the lady is at the man's house. The man meets her outside of the house.
Man: You are going to cum to my house!
And then he fucks her.
I fucked your girl.
You were amazing... Sike I lied, that pussy is dry.
What’s the difference between anal sex and vegetables? One is cruel to the person getting it in, the other is vegetables.
Uder the sheets.
Under the sheeeets. Me and your mother making your brother.
Under the sheets. Do do do do dododoodoooddododoodo.
SEX KIDS FUCKING VIRGINS
Why won't an American atheist convert to the religion of Islam in the city of Dearborn, Michigan?
Because being on the sex offender list is the only requirement to be able to join a mosque in the city of Dearborn, Michigan.
"If you're good at something, never do it for free."
Rapboat's mom charges $5 a blowie.
When's the only time a rapeboat is quiet? When he got his uncle's cock in his mouth.