Sex Jokes

A 90 year old man takes a Viagra.

Strips off naked, lies down in an alley way. Three chicks walk on by: a blond, a brunette, and a red head.

The red head said, "I'm not letting that go to waste," so she strips off and rides him. When she's finished,

The brunette then strips off naked and rides him. The blond's now worried because she just got her period. The red head sez, "He's dead. Don't let it go to waste," so she strips off naked and rides him. Then he wakes up. He then says, "Wow, two jump starts and a blood transfusion. I'm good to go!"

What do women and peanut butter have in common?

They're both easy to spread.

"Penis equals power, pussy equals wussy."

Seriously, who wants dicks?

What do you call snowmen having sex?

A snowjob.

The image is a meme featuring white text on a black background. It reads "WTF SEX FACTS# Drinking coffee before sex will make your orgasms 50x more intense."

Blonde: Can I suck you off? (has STDs on mouth)

Me: Naw (drake turn/dab)

What’s the difference between a bullet and a prostitute? They both burst a barrel.

What's the difference between an aborted fetus and an upside-down bar stool?

An upside-down bar stool can only pleasure 4 men.

If you go to the military and you get sent to a country, how many heads will you blow off?

That number is how many dicks you suck.

Your face with my cum.

When I masturbate, things cum.

When an old man does, no one cums.

If life was like Pacific Rim, I'd say your mom's pussy was a category 5.

Aaron and Ben meet on Grindr. They have a drink and have sex. They wake up in the morning in bed. Aaron says, "I'm so glad I got it out." Ben replies, "What? Oh, just the HIV."

Las Vegas has a new 550-foot-tall Ferris wheel, hoping to gain tourists.

What’s already gaining “tourists”? Whores.

Why are sex toys something to stuff in your asshole and not a big racecar?

What does your mother look like after I had sex with her eight times? An octopus.

Imagine the only way you can get laid is if you force it. 😂 Loser!

Why is Fairy's washing up liquid the best form of lubricant for anal sex?

No more tears.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef!

I'mma flip this coin, if it lands on heads, tuh, you gotta give me head, if it lands on tails then you gotta give me the booty, so lets give this a try *flips coin* OOP! Would ya look at that, it landed on both, ESSKETIT!