Hoover jokes

When we were visiting the Hoover Dam, I started to get a bit hungry. I asked my parents, "Where's the dam snack bar?"

Do you want to buy my Hoover?

I mean... it's just collecting dust.

What do you call people who jump into the Hoover Dam?

Dam fools.

What do you call sex with a hoover?

Clean sex.

Answering a knock at my door, I see a vacuum cleaner salesman who proceeds to tip a huge bucket of shit all over my carpet, before proclaiming any trace this hoover doesn't remove I will personally eat myself.

"Well, I hope you're hungry," I replied, "'cause they cut off my electric this morning!"

Bleach solves so many problems: stains, dirty dishes, messes, and overpopulation.

What do you get when you cross a vacuum and a rooster?

A cock sucker.

What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? You slap her on the ass and tell her to get back to work.

Men vacuum in the same way that they have sex.

They just put it in and make some noise for 3 minutes before they collapse on the couch and think that their wife should be really happy.

What do vacuums and your mom have in common?

They both suck.