See jokes

When the school shooter runs out of ammo: K a l m.

When he grabs a full mag: P a n i k.

When he looks back and doesn't see you, but you're hiding in one of the classrooms: K a l m.

When the autistic kid's Sketchers light up: P A N I K.

I have gathered intelligence regarding the Russian Forces that have been stalled in Ukraine for days. Apparently, they are installing rear view mirrors on their combat vehicles and tanks in order to see the battle at the front lines.

Your hairline is so repulsive that my entire family got eye cancer from seeing it, and it goes so far back that you be looking like Vegeta.

Me: Can I borrow your CD?

Friend: What CD?

Me: See deez nuts in your mouth.

Q: Wanna see something funny?

A: Sure.

*bomb Florida*

A German soldier was walking down the street in a hail storm and a woman got hit unconscious. He ran over to see if she was ok. Other people came running over. They asked what happened, and the German soldier said, "Hail hit her."

Yo mama is so fat, I thought she was a beach whale.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To see his friend.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

The chicken.

When a person asked to see her balance at a bank, they pushed him over.

I met a lovely girl at a friend's house party, so I went and introduced myself by saying I'm Noah, what's yours?

She turned around angrily and offended and said, "I identify as a hockey puck, didn't you see the sign?"

To which I replied, "Bitch, that says hickey puck. If you identify as a hockey puck, then let me hit you!"

I met a lovely girl at a friend's house party, so I went and introduced myself by saying I'm Noah, what's yours?

She turned around angrily and offended and said, "I identify as a hockey puck, didn't you see the sign?"

To which I replied, "Bitch, that says hickey puck. If you identify as a hockey puck, then let me hit you!"

When your friend gets involved with someone, it affects the friendship. Whenever a friend of mine has a new girlfriend, we should say I looked like the person you used to know, but I've been modified to survive in this relationship. If we have an argument and she's there, I might disagree with you; I'd rather continue to see her naked.

I have a lot of money, but I don't waste it.

So people call me poor until they see my bank account.

"Did everyone see that because I will not be doing it again."

- Captain Jack Sparrow

Spell "attic."

Okay. A-T-T-I-C. /a titi/ tata. I see.

Roses are red, the grass is greener, when I see you, I play with my wiener.

Do you see the toilet?

Yo ass so fat that you can't see your toes.

When you go to the movies, you take up seven rows.

People go to places to see Harry Potter live, but you can just go to the abortion place and see something disappear.

What does "off-limits" have in common with dead people? They can’t see their family.