See jokes

I am a racist, and I put my milk before cereal. Well, to be honest, that was when I had milk, but one day my dad says he was going to get some... then he left.

Now when I see a black guy, I yell, "Thanks for picking the cotton to make my shirt!"

Q: Wanna see something funny?

A: Sure.

*bomb Florida*

Me: Can I borrow your CD?

Friend: What CD?

Me: See deez nuts in your mouth.

When the school shooter runs out of ammo: K a l m.

When he grabs a full mag: P a n i k.

When he looks back and doesn't see you, but you're hiding in one of the classrooms: K a l m.

When the autistic kid's Sketchers light up: P A N I K.

I have gathered intelligence regarding the Russian Forces that have been stalled in Ukraine for days. Apparently, they are installing rear view mirrors on their combat vehicles and tanks in order to see the battle at the front lines.

Your hairline is so repulsive that my entire family got eye cancer from seeing it, and it goes so far back that you be looking like Vegeta.

A German soldier was walking down the street in a hail storm and a woman got hit unconscious. He ran over to see if she was ok. Other people came running over. They asked what happened, and the German soldier said, "Hail hit her."

If this is offensive to anyone, I'm sorry! Hey, wanna see something funny? Go look in your mirror!

Yo mama is so fat, I thought she was a beach whale.

When a person asked to see her balance at a bank, they pushed him over.

When your friend gets involved with someone, it affects the friendship. Whenever a friend of mine has a new girlfriend, we should say I looked like the person you used to know, but I've been modified to survive in this relationship. If we have an argument and she's there, I might disagree with you; I'd rather continue to see her naked.

What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?

Hot Wheels! We'll see him soon.

Spell "attic."

Okay. A-T-T-I-C. /a titi/ tata. I see.

Yo ass so fat that you can't see your toes.

When you go to the movies, you take up seven rows.

I have a lot of money, but I don't waste it.

So people call me poor until they see my bank account.

You know, that I see my sister at home from school. She says everyone bullies me. I say, "Because you're a fat a**."

Why do you have to pay to see Russian people?

Because the zoo is not free, Duhhhhh🙄

Roses are red, the grass is greener, when I see you, I play with my wiener.

A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."

Do you see the toilet?