Hood

Hood Jokes

People

The only hood I like is pointy and white.

That's why I can't trust people when I don't see their face at night.

Sex

My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic. But if I'm going to have sex, it's going to be on my own Accord.

  • 0
  • Fortune

    Robin Hood [hands over stolen fortune]: here you are, my poor friend.

    Friend: Wow thanks, I'm rich!

    Robin [narrows eyes]: You're what?

    Story

    True Story of Little Red Riding Hood.

    The big bad wolf told Red Riding Hood to strip. He looked at her pussy and said, "Now I will fuck you!"

    Red pulled out a shotgun from under her coat and said, "Oh no you're not. You're not, you're going to eat me just like it says in the book!"

    Nun

    "Nun" means no one likes them. Just take off that dumb hood!

    Little Red Riding Hood

    Little Red Riding Hood has to deliver food to her grandma again. She can drive now because she is sixteen. One the way, she accidentally took the wrong way and got to a different forest where her grandma lives now. She found the wrong cottage that looked like her grandma's home. When she opened the door, she found her younger and older sisters of ages 9, 11, 18, and 22. How old is Little Red Riding Hood?

    Answer: 16

    Tornado

    What do a black and a tornado have in common?

    They both wreck neighborhoods.

    Emo

    Me people call me emo.

    Older cousin: Why?

    Because I always have my hood up and wear black cloths and wear black cross earrings.

    Sex

    My boyfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of his Honda Civic, but I refused. If I’m going to have sex, it’s going to be on my own Accord.

    Baby

    What’s the difference between a 5.7l v8 and a dead baby?

    If you lift the hood on my car, you won’t find a 5.7l v8.

    Song

    Check out my new song. It’s called “Nlggas in the hood,” and it’s really good, so go listen.

    Bandit

    Digga D, I'm a well known bandit, bandit. Had a new mash, just landed. Jheez, cop it, chop it, sand it, hand it. The verbal ting I can't stand it. Wife and two, got tanned when I banged it. Mad ting. Got a conspiracy case in the silliest Place, they're saying that I planned it, damn it. Back on a Feltham landing. You ain't been in the hood like Robin. I ride in hoods tryna leave man red (Crud). The sweets are goldy, yola drops and lots of dred (Maud). No porkies, pepper them pigeons, they chase this ped. Gyal tryna give man noddy, She ain't got balls in her tongue that's dead.

    School

    Schools in the hood are kind of the same thing. I always seem to get shot.

    Dick

    Little Red Riding Hood says to the wolf: "What a big dick you have!"

    Wolf: "The better to f*** you with!"