See jokes

Your hairline is so repulsive that my entire family got eye cancer from seeing it, and it goes so far back that you be looking like Vegeta.

Q: Wanna see something funny?

A: Sure.

*bomb Florida*

Me: Can I borrow your CD?

Friend: What CD?

Me: See deez nuts in your mouth.

A German soldier was walking down the street in a hail storm and a woman got hit unconscious. He ran over to see if she was ok. Other people came running over. They asked what happened, and the German soldier said, "Hail hit her."

When a person asked to see her balance at a bank, they pushed him over.

When your friend gets involved with someone, it affects the friendship. Whenever a friend of mine has a new girlfriend, we should say I looked like the person you used to know, but I've been modified to survive in this relationship. If we have an argument and she's there, I might disagree with you; I'd rather continue to see her naked.

A German, a Swiss, and a Russian make a bet: whoever has the most forest area in their country wins about 10,000 euros.

First, they fly over Switzerland: 8,000 square kilometers of forest. The German starts getting cold feet, as he doesn't think he'll win. Next, they fly over Russia: 50,000 square kilometers of forest. The German realizes he doesn't stand a chance unless he cheats.

When they fly over Germany, they see 10,000 square kilometers of forest. The German seems to have won, but then the Swiss shouts: "That's a tree!" The German was accused of fraud.

The German is furious. He calls the head of the Bundeswehr: "Why did the tree move?!" The boss said, "I'll put the guy who moved on the line," and passed the receiver over.

"Why did you move?" the German asked.

The young man replied: "Okay, when a dog came along and peed on my trunk, that was still fine. But then a bear came along and rubbed against my trunk..."

What happens if you look in the mirror and say fentanyl 3 times? You'll see Derek Chauvin kneeling on George Floyd's neck.

"Did everyone see that because I will not be doing it again."

- Captain Jack Sparrow

What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?

Hot Wheels! We'll see him soon.

What do you call a cow you can’t see?

Camooflauged.

What is yellow?

Spell "attic."

Okay. A-T-T-I-C. /a titi/ tata. I see.

I have a lot of money, but I don't waste it.

So people call me poor until they see my bank account.

Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To show he had guts.

Why did the other hedgehog cross the road? To see his flat mate.

If anyone can see Alya KUHL please tell me! I love and miss her...

What did the parents say to the orphans?

"YOU CAN'T SEE ME!"

A blind woman told her husband someone is coming. He asks how do you know, you can't see. She replies, "I can taste it."

Your mom is so ugly her face would split in half when she sees you.

Roses are red, the grass is greener, when I see you, I play with my wiener.