Microphone jokes

So, I was getting on a plane, and the pilot does his usual speech talking about altitude and what not with the microphone, and he forgets to turn it off, so after the speech I heard him and the co-pilot talking about what they were doing after work, and whatnot.

Then the pilot said he was dying for a blowjob and a coffee, so a stewardess ran to the pilots cabin, and then left about 15 minutes later, and the pilot shouted "Next time don't forget the coffee!"

I bought a new shotgun the other day. Want to know what I called it?

Kurt Cobain's microphone.

How do rappers greet each other?

With a "Mic check, one-two."

What did the rapper say when he lost his voice?

"I guess I'll have to drop a SILENT TRACK!"

What did the rapper say to the microphone?

"You're my closet confidant!"

Why did the rapper go to space?

To drop some COSMIC RHYMES!

What does Finn Wolfhard do when he makes a good joke?

He drops the Mike.

Why did the rapper bring a fishing rod to the studio?

To reel in some KILLER HOOKS.

What did the rapper say to the microphone?

"You better DROP THE BEAT, or I'll drop YOU!"

What phone do midgets use?

A MICROphone.

What's the difference between the microphone and Bambi?

One is a Welsh idea, the other's a well shy deer.

Hello worstjokesever.com, I am not typing but instead using a microphone to speech, ding me a period.

I don’t see what’s coming up, but I don’t know why I am sending, so it will be random or funny or just stupid, LOL. So like and subscribe and...

What kind of tests do rappers always pass?

Sound checks!

More cops died from COVID than anything else last year, hahahaha.

They should have shot COVID instead of Tyrone on the microphone, lmfao.

Why did the rapper bring a vacuum to the concert?

So the haters could SUCK on him!

Hello, I am typing with the microphone, euros, hello bro and 0LXDXD bra, that’s funny, and also you are gay. Ha ha ha ha ha, get it done by eight.

"What do we want?"

"HEARING AIDS!"

"When do we want them?"

"HEARING AIDS!"

Average Kid: brings mp3 to school.

Rich Kid: Brings mp4 to school.

Quiet Kid: Brings an mp5.

Today, I asked my phone, "Siri, why am I still single?" and it activated the front camera.

I went to the store and I saw a kid with fake airpods, and I was going to tell him, "Nice fake airpods," but it was his hearing aids.

Dear disabled people, just go to the settings and enable it!