What is Forrest Gump's password?
1forest1
My Grandpa was supposed to be in 9/11, but airport security got him.
I was on the Official Cristiano Ronaldo website when suddenly my Anti-Virus software showed an alert on my screen! The notification read "WARNING: FRAUD DETECTED!" I was shocked but not surprised.
Penaldo has been finished for years after all, and he often ghosts in big games.
One day there was a guy who robbed a bank. A customer at the bank while it happened got the police. Who was that? The police said......
It’s a wood hulem.
A man shot into a crowd at the train station and didn't hit one person. When the police asked why he missed, someone said, "'Cause he gay."
He couldn't shoot straight.
What if some kid was like, "I'm going to shoot up the school!", and then someone just pulls up with a reverse card?
The bakery where I work is being robbed. I said to the people, "I am calling the police." Then I realized they did not come for the money; they came for the bread. Huh, go figure!
I was coming out of airport and a rober kept his gun on my head I requested him please don't kill me as I have my old mom and dad at my home . Kill Them.
The school shooter when the cops show up be like:
"Ain't nothing gonna break my stride, ain't nothing gonna hold me down. Oh oh. I've got to keep on moving."
What do computer programming and 9/11 have in common?
They're both inside jobs.
Well, if Stephen Hawking likes black holes so much, why did he call security when I put my hole on his face?
*Enter password*
"ScoobyDoo"
"Password must contain special character."
"ScoobyDooFeaturingBatman"
Setting: Funeral Home
Customer: Yes, I was considering what would be the best option for cheap cremation, but I feel that's silly to ask.
Funeral Director: Oh! We do have these nice urns over here at a discounted 75 percent off.
Customer: Okay? What's the catch? That's almost 300 dollars off?
Funeral Director: I assure you these are top-of-the-line urns and will keep your loved ones' remains secure and dry.
Customer: Okay?
Funeral Director: Yep, these have only been used once, so it is absolutely worth the purchase.
By: MiniMemorials.com
I work at a morgue and we wrap the bodies in bubble wrap.
I was working the night shift and just looking at the security cameras, but then I heard popping behind me!
I thought I told you to lock up when I left this morning. This is why our shit gets stolen all the time!
Nothing makes a guy happier than when his girlfriend says “Go and lock the door first...”
Yo mama's so old, her social security number is one
Joe Biden would’ve died in the Secret Service tackle. They would have been like, "Get down Mr. Presi-"
When you lock the door, but you realize it's a pull open door!
I hope you forget your password to something, only to send something to an email that you also forgot the password to.
