Security jokes
My Grandpa was supposed to be in 9/11, but airport security got him.
Why do they have fences around cemeteries?
Because people are dying to get in.
Teachers: Whenever there’s a school shooting, hide under the desk.
Students: Hiding under desk.
Shooter: Well, no one’s in here!
I was on the Official Cristiano Ronaldo website when suddenly my Anti-Virus software showed an alert on my screen! The notification read "WARNING: FRAUD DETECTED!" I was shocked but not surprised.
Penaldo has been finished for years after all, and he often ghosts in big games.
The terrorists lost their landing gear and had to make a crash landing into the closest building because religion.
Women used to fear their nudes getting leaked.
Now it’s $3.99.
ICE and ISIS have similar first syllables. Coincidence? I think not!
I went to my local shooting range today but was surprised to see that the news reported a school shooting there. I still don't know who snitched...
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RCXD.
When you're working in the Twin Towers, but you have to turn your computer to airplane mode.
Why does the Please Touch Museum sound like "police touch museum?"
Because they gotta watch out for the pedos.
Yo mama so old, when she left the antique shop, the alarm went off.
Keep yourself safe!
"John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. Me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety."
An orphan walked up to a baseball field, but a security guard said he couldn't come in because it was a home game.
What are the similarities between BTC and 9/11? They both crashed down.
"Water exists."
Airport security: "What the fuck did you just say?"
I found a key that works for every door at my school.
I saw an ad that said, "By the time this ad is over, two identities would have been stolen." So, I did what I had to do and skipped the ad! You're welcome to the two people's identities I saved!
What is Forrest Gump's email password?
1forrest1