Teachers: Whenever there’s a school shooting, hide under the desk.
Students: Hiding under desk.
Shooter: Well, no one’s in here!
I heard that the numbers on the front of your credit card represent the number of minutes until you meet the 💕 love of your life!💕
And the 3 numbers on the back represent the month and day you make it official!!
Comment those numbers to lock it in!!😄
The terrorists lost their landing gear and had to make a crash landing into the closest building because religion.
What is Forrest Gump's email password?
1forrest1
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair
RCXD
An orphan walked up to a baseball field, but a security guard said he couldn't come in because it was a home game.
I found a key that works for every door at my school.
I saw an ad that said, "By the time this ad is over, two identities would have been stolen." So, I did what I had to do and skipped the ad! You're welcome to the two people's identities I saved!
"Water exists."
Airport security: "What the fuck did you just say?"
What are the similarities between BTC and 9/11? They both crashed down.
Why does the Please Touch Museum sound like "police touch museum?"
Because they gotta watch out for the pedos.
Keep yourself safe!
"John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. Me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety."
My local hacker contacted me and told me that he hacked my computer.
I responded, “Show me proof.” He provided the username and password for my email account, bank account, video game accounts, and social media accounts. To be honest, that is the fastest “Forgot Password” procedure I’ve ever done.
Did you try the digital egg padlock? Because it is very easy to crack the code.
i went to my local shooting range today but was surprised to see that the news reported a school shooting there, i still dont know who snitched...
How do you know if an Asian has broke into your house? Your dog is gone. ;)
My gun is like my house, used to be full, now it's empty.
I was taking a walk near the prison when I saw a good looking guy climbing down the fence, and when he noticed me, he gave me a sneer! It was pretty condescending.
Someone threatened to break into my house, but I am in a wheelchair. I said sure, and I moved everything upstairs and sat on the stairs so he couldn’t steal anything.
