Security jokes
Why do they have fences around cemeteries?
Because people are dying to get in.
Teachers: Whenever there’s a school shooting, hide under the desk.
Students: Hiding under desk.
Shooter: Well, no one’s in here!
My Grandpa was supposed to be in 9/11, but airport security got him.
The terrorists lost their landing gear and had to make a crash landing into the closest building because religion.
Women used to fear their nudes getting leaked.
Now it’s $3.99.
ICE and ISIS have similar first syllables. Coincidence? I think not!
I went to my local shooting range today but was surprised to see that the news reported a school shooting there. I still don't know who snitched...
"John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. Me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety."
When you're working in the Twin Towers, but you have to turn your computer to airplane mode.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RCXD.
Keep yourself safe!
An orphan walked up to a baseball field, but a security guard said he couldn't come in because it was a home game.
Why does the Please Touch Museum sound like "police touch museum?"
Because they gotta watch out for the pedos.
Yo mama so old, when she left the antique shop, the alarm went off.
What are the similarities between BTC and 9/11? They both crashed down.
I found a key that works for every door at my school.
I saw an ad that said, "By the time this ad is over, two identities would have been stolen." So, I did what I had to do and skipped the ad! You're welcome to the two people's identities I saved!
"Water exists."
Airport security: "What the fuck did you just say?"
What is Forrest Gump's email password?
1forrest1
My local hacker contacted me and told me that he hacked my computer.
I responded, “Show me proof.” He provided the username and password for my email account, bank account, video game accounts, and social media accounts. To be honest, that is the fastest “Forgot Password” procedure I’ve ever done.