Security jokes

What do you call a wizard who can't secure a girl? Fumbledore.

ICE and ISIS have similar first syllables. Coincidence? I think not!

"John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. Me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety."

What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1.

I guess making 9/11 jokes at the airport is better than shouting "He's got a gun!" at the airport.

Joe Biden would’ve died in the Secret Service tackle. They would have been like, "Get down Mr. Presi-"

Do you think when the Secret Service heard the gunshot they were like, "Donald Duck"?

Why did the rapper become a locksmith?

Because he always had the KEYS!

Watchdogs.

Did you know that a majority of the U.S. is afraid of the dark?

Especially if they are right behind you at the ATM.

Women used to fear their nudes getting leaked.

Now it’s $3.99.

Bomb.

Why do hackers in Africa have hard times dealing with firewalls?

They don't have water.

My local hacker contacted me and told me that he hacked my computer.

I responded, “Show me proof.” He provided the username and password for my email account, bank account, video game accounts, and social media accounts. To be honest, that is the fastest “Forgot Password” procedure I’ve ever done.

To stop my password from getting hacked, I changed it to something difficult to crack: "StrongBrazilianNut111".

I saw two blind men fighting at the mall. I yelled, "He has a gun!" They both ran.

Hi, I am just wondering who went into my account, 'cause I've changed my password, by the way.

A suicide bomber's biggest fear is not exploding.

When you're working in the Twin Towers, but you have to turn your computer to airplane mode.

CIA: Where's your head at?

JFK: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA