Security jokes
My gun is like my house, used to be full, now it's empty.
Stephen Hawking isn’t dead, he’s just using VPN.
I remember locking my door, but then I went downstairs to hear someone say, "I'm inside your home." I said, "GTFO my house, BICH!"
Did you try the digital egg padlock? Because it is very easy to crack the code.
What do you call a wizard who can't secure a girl? Fumbledore.
How did the security guard at the orchid get better at his job? He got an Apple Watch.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RCXD.
Q: Do you know why orphans rob banks?
A: Because it's a guarantee they'll be wanted afterwards.
What do computer programming and 9/11 have in common?
They're both inside jobs.
Why do you go to the bank?
To get money.
When do you run from the bank?
When the cops come.
Chuck Norris told those three men how to climb Trump's wall.
What will Donald Trump build in our devices?
A firewall.
When you're working in the Twin Towers, but you have to turn your computer to airplane mode.
Guess McAfee doesn’t clear all computer viruses.
Bomb.
If cops are called pigs, then security guards are piglets.
Knowing how to pick locks has really opened a lot of doors for me.
Types "I'm not a robot" on computer.
Son, we are geniuses!
Yo mama so old, when she left the antique shop, the alarm went off.
As an actor going to film a new TV show in another country, when TSA asks, "What’s the purpose of your visit?"... "I’m going to shoot a pilot" is never a good answer.