Science jokes
What’s black and at the top of a stair case?
Stephen Hawking during a house fire.
My wife is so fat, she gets weighed on the Richter scale.
I heard helium won the lottery. Turns out, he lied.
Did you hear that oxygen and magnesium hooked up last night?
OMg!
How do you kidnap Stephen Hawking?
Shut off his computer.
Memes
What did the neutron say to the atom?
"Sandwiches, dude!"
Yo mama so fat, she found the barrier to outer space!
Stephen Hawking can pass any test, but there's one test he can't pass. It is the PACER test.
Why couldn’t the dinosaurs talk? Because they were dead.
What does Stephen Hawking put his food in? A microwave.
Average bee is 50x smarter than the smartest flat earther.
Why has nobody been on Neptune? Because the wind is so big. And why the wind's so big? Because Neptune's yelling, "GETT OFFF MMY PPRROOPERRTY!!"
How do you throw a space party?
You plan-et! Hahahaha, get it?
Uranus is sideways and leaking methane.
I took my girlfriend to the beach, and a marine biologist thought she was a beluga whale.
Do you know the teacher that went up in space? She had blew eyes. One blew this way and one blew that way.
Why can't dwarfs go to space? Because NASA is not sending monkeys into space anymore.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His PC overheated.
Did you know penguins can fly if you throw them hard enough? Just like children!
You have two brain cells; one is lost, and the other is out looking for it.