Science jokes
Yo mama so fat, she found the barrier to outer space!
My wife is so fat, she gets weighed on the Richter scale.
What did the neutron say to the atom?
"Sandwiches, dude!"
There's a new bird disease, it's called churpies.
It's a canariel disease, untweetable.
My science teacher was talking about natural selection.
At one point, she asked me to name the first person to theorize about it. I said, "Eric Harris." It was on his shirt.
If you don't get the joke, look up "Eric Harris natural selection."
What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?
Oops!
There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.
Stephen Hawking can pass any test, but there's one test he can't pass. It is the PACER test.
Why can't dwarfs go to space? Because NASA is not sending monkeys into space anymore.
Yo mama so fat, when she jumps, NASA says a meteor hits Earth.
Did you know penguins can fly if you throw them hard enough? Just like children!
You have two brain cells; one is lost, and the other is out looking for it.
What do hospitals do when they receive donor organs? They organize them.
What do you get when you throw a pebble into the ocean?
A wet pebble.
I'm making a new movie, it's called "Veggie Tales." My star actor is Stephen Hawking.
Stephen Hawking said there is no God.
2018 God said there is no Stephen Hawking.
When Stephen Hawking falls, who does he call, the ambulance or the technician?
His favorite drink was his dribble.
What does Stephen Hawking press after he's had a hard day?
F5
How do you communicate to the dead?
Jump up and down on the ground and speak in Morse code!