Science jokes
Stephen Hawking is to wheelchairs like Uncle Ben is to rice.
Stephen Hawking was a bit of a hardcase. He didn't let people push him around.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite line in Rambo?
"Don't push me."
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and his wheelchair?
At least his wheelchair can pull a woman.
I'll tell you a good joke. Stephen Hawking went for a walk.
What did Stephen Hawking say when he rode a bike?
"Hey look...no hands...or legs!"
At least he always has a shoulder to cry on.
What Stephen Hawking doesn't know about wheelchairs isn't worth knowing.
Roberto: Judd, your DNA looks like the infinite symbol.
Judd: Roberto, your DNA looks like a pasta noodle.
What’s Stephen Hawking’s favorite food?
His left shoulder.
Yo mama so ugly, she the real reason all the dodos died.
What did the skeleton pull out from behind his ear?
Nothing. Skeletons don’t have ears.
Your forehead is sooo big, NASA thought it was Mars!
Oh dear, I made a backwards ray. Let's test it. I made a backwards ray, let's test it oh.
I took my girlfriend to the beach, and a marine biologist thought she was a beluga whale.
Why has nobody been on Neptune? Because the wind is so big. And why the wind's so big? Because Neptune's yelling, "GETT OFFF MMY PPRROOPERRTY!!"
How do you throw a space party?
You plan-et! Hahahaha, get it?
Uranus is sideways and leaking methane.
Why did the robot eat a lightbulb?
'Cause he was in need of a light snack!
I think the pollen count is a difficult job. Especially if you have hay fever.