Science jokes

Why can't dwarfs go to space? Because NASA is not sending monkeys into space anymore.

Did you know penguins can fly if you throw them hard enough? Just like children!

You have two brain cells; one is lost, and the other is out looking for it.

There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.

Yo mama so fat, when she jumps, NASA says a meteor hits Earth.

Your forehead is sooo big, NASA thought it was Mars!

Oh dear, I made a backwards ray. Let's test it. I made a backwards ray, let's test it oh.

If Stephen Hawking was a boxer, he would roll with the punches.

Stephen Hawking is to wheelchairs like Uncle Ben is to rice.

Stephen Hawking was a bit of a hardcase. He didn't let people push him around.

What was Stephen Hawking's favorite line in Rambo?

"Don't push me."

Why is he called Stephen Hawking?

Because he is always trying to hawk up phlegm to clear his throat.

Wipe your feet before entering, but in Stephen Hawking's case, it is "Wipe your wheels."

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and his wheelchair?

At least his wheelchair can pull a woman.

I'll tell you a good joke. Stephen Hawking went for a walk.

What did Stephen Hawking say when he rode a bike?

"Hey look...no hands...or legs!"

At least he always has a shoulder to cry on.

What Stephen Hawking doesn't know about wheelchairs isn't worth knowing.

What does it say on Stephen Hawking's headstone?

R. I. P. Roll in Peace.

What was Stephen Hawking's favorite movie? Cabbage Patch Kids.