Science jokes

Where do you go when Steve Hawkins dies?

Microsoft.

What is Stephen Hawking's favorite dance move? The worm.

What does Stephen Hawking press after he's had a hard day?

F5

His favorite drink was his dribble.

So, Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Wait, he can't.

When Stephen Hawking falls, who does he call, the ambulance or the technician?

So big that when you step, you break the whole galaxy.

There's a new bird disease, it's called churpies.

It's a canariel disease, untweetable.

Confusion life question!!!

* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?

My science teacher was talking about natural selection.

At one point, she asked me to name the first person to theorize about it. I said, "Eric Harris." It was on his shirt.

If you don't get the joke, look up "Eric Harris natural selection."

What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?

Oops!

The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.

They fear that social distancing measures could push people over the edge.

Why can you never trust atoms?

Because they make up everything.

Why did Stephen Hawking die so soon?

Because his misses bought the wrong batteries.

I traveled through time to get my dad back.

I failed because I was 1e21 years off.

Stephen Hawking said he wants other physicists to follow in his footsteps.

What did Jupiter say to Uranus? Hey, I can see your Uranus from here!

Why don't you fight a dinosaur?

You'll get jurasskicked.

I’d tell BlessedBrian to aim for the stars, but it seems like his GRAVITATIONAL PULL is holding him back.

I was with my friend atom the other day. He’s pretty tall . . . Compared to you.