Science jokes
I was with my friend atom the other day. He’s pretty tall . . . Compared to you.
You have two brain cells; one is lost, and the other is out looking for it.
Stephen Hawking can pass any test, but there's one test he can't pass. It is the PACER test.
Why did Stephen Hawking die so soon?
Because his misses bought the wrong batteries.
I traveled through time to get my dad back.
I failed because I was 1e21 years off.
Why don't you fight a dinosaur?
You'll get jurasskicked.
What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?
Oops!
Confusion life question!!!
* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?
So big that when you step, you break the whole galaxy.
There's a new bird disease, it's called churpies.
It's a canariel disease, untweetable.
What did the neutron say to the atom?
"Sandwiches, dude!"
Yo mama so fat, she found the barrier to outer space!
My wife is so fat, she gets weighed on the Richter scale.
What did Jupiter say to Uranus? Hey, I can see your Uranus from here!
What’s black and at the top of a stair case?
Stephen Hawking during a house fire.
My science teacher was talking about natural selection.
At one point, she asked me to name the first person to theorize about it. I said, "Eric Harris." It was on his shirt.
If you don't get the joke, look up "Eric Harris natural selection."
Did you hear that oxygen and magnesium hooked up last night?
OMg!
What does Stephen Hawking put his food in? A microwave.
Why couldn’t the dinosaurs talk? Because they were dead.
Average bee is 50x smarter than the smartest flat earther.