Science jokes
Timmy has 5 apples.
His train is 7 minutes early.
Calculate the mass of the sun.
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad influence on children?
Because he only looks one way when crossing the road.
I found out what DNA stands for. It's the National Dyslexic's Association.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and his wheelchair?
At least his wheelchair can pull a woman.
So, my son is into astronomy, and he asked how stars die. I said, "Usually overdose."
What does your head come out of... your brain?
I don't trust atoms.
They make up everything.
The sun is already bright, stupid!
Stephen Hawking always wins musical chairs, as he’s always sitting down.
Stephen Hawking is such a bad role model for our kids.
He only ever looks one way when crossing the street.
How Stephen Hawking died: he drove too far away from the wall and the cord got unplugged.
What’s the difference between black matter and Black Lives Matter?
Black matter leaves an impact.
A new burger has been invented in memory of Stephen Hawking. I doubt it will sell though, as it's 95% cabbage.
Why did the sun go to college?
Because it already have a million degrees!
Fat kids are so fat, they have their own gravitational pull.
Why did he die so soon? Oh, I know, he forgot to plug in his charger!
Are you made of Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?
Cause damn, you lookin' kinda Au Ti S Ti C!
I set fiya to the rain! Wait, no, that ain't possible, what... I evaporated the rain!
I was reading a book about gravity. It was so hard to put down!
Stephen Hawking will be greatly missed for the time he walked this Earth.