Science jokes
How do you measure the circumference of Uranus?
By the rings around it.
Stephen Hawking walked to the shop.
I lied 😄
The earth is not round.
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What did one negative say to the other negative? Together we can make a positive.
When Stephen Hawking entered Heaven and met with the Lord, after a short interview God asked: "Hey Stephen, I need you to explain to me how does all this stuff work?"
How did the skeleton know it was going to rain? He read the weather forecast, you fucking idiot!
You're so retarded, if there was a clone of you that was supposed to be smart, it would still be retarded.
Literally no one: Why can't you hear the pterodactyl?
Random person: I don't know.
No one: BECAUSE THEY ARE EXTINCT!
Random person: Ha, cool, I guess.
If Stephen Hawking was in a horror movie, would he make his robot try and shout, "Aaaaaaaah! Help me, I can't move! I'm too scared!"?
Stephen Hawking said God isn’t real, and the Priest put a boot on his tire. 😂😂😂
How do you die from Alzheimer's? You forget how to breathe.
What did the brother cell say when the sister cell stepped on his foot? Ow, mitosis! (my toe, sis)
Why should you never trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
I found the best GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-get-the-time-machine.
Why is the ocean so salty? Probably because the land doesn't wave back.
Your hairline is so far back, scientists consider it a ninth planet.
What do you call Panera bread that has been weathered and eventually gathered and via cementation and pressure, it becomes a layer of different materials and is also one of the most common types of rock in the sea?
Panera Sed!
You should wear binoculars when calculating. It helps divide.
Hey girl, are you a scientist?
Cause you made my thing into a baking soda volcano.
The earth was once flat... until they buried your mom.