Science jokes
Stephen Hawking said God isn’t real, and the Priest put a boot on his tire. 😂😂😂
How did the skeleton know it was going to rain? He read the weather forecast, you fucking idiot!
Literally no one: Why can't you hear the pterodactyl?
Random person: I don't know.
No one: BECAUSE THEY ARE EXTINCT!
Random person: Ha, cool, I guess.
When Stephen Hawking entered Heaven and met with the Lord, after a short interview God asked: "Hey Stephen, I need you to explain to me how does all this stuff work?"
If Stephen Hawking was in a horror movie, would he make his robot try and shout, "Aaaaaaaah! Help me, I can't move! I'm too scared!"?
Memes
Shitpostmastergeneral
What did the brother cell say when the sister cell stepped on his foot? Ow, mitosis! (my toe, sis)
I found the best GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-get-the-time-machine.
Why is the ocean so salty? Probably because the land doesn't wave back.
Phobos and Deimos are just asteroids in moon costumes, and Mars was blind due to its frequent sandstorms, so it let Phobos and Deimos be its moons.
Why is the ocean blue?
A: Because the fish go, "blu-blu."
That chromosome gon' leave just like your hairline. 😗😮😮
Why was the noble gas not emo?
Because they were thinking RIGHT.
Uranus is pronounced "ur anus."
Look behind you, there is Stephen Hawking.
Nobody.
I heard that Uranus is pronounced "yuuranus," but it reminded me of urine! 😆
The Stephen Hawking space telescope will be launched next year. Apparently, it will have four wheels and run off Windows 7.
What do Stephen Hawking and a walkie talkie have in common?
When a rocketship went into space, seven astronauts went into space. That's why it's called NASA.
When I wear all black, I'm not emo. I'm a rainbow, 'cause I'm wearing all the colors. #Science
You're so skinny the world turns to the left!