Science jokes
What is an astronaut's favorite color? Zoo.
The 6th-grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, “Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?”
No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, “You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I’m going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!”
Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, “Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?”
Little Mary’s mouth fell open. Then she said to those around her, “Boy, is she going to get in big trouble!”
The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, “Anybody?”
Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, “The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye.”
Mrs. Parks said, “Very good, Billy,” then turned to Mary and continued.
“As for you, young lady, I have three things to say: One, you have a dirty mind. Two, you didn’t read your homework. And three, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed.”
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? Because he can't do stand-up.
So Steven Hawking walks into a bar...
Oh, wait.
Daughter: Mommy, what ever happened to Steven Hawking?
Mother: He died.
Daughter: How did he die?
Mother: He never got recharged.
Who would you choose?
What’s made of wood and is zig zag shaped?
Stephen Hawking's coffin.
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "Can I have a drink of H2O?" Then the second says, "Can I have a drink of H2O2?" and he dies.
Is it just me, or are magnets really attractive?
It's so sad that Stephen Hawking can't stand up for himself.
Why are Amoebas so bad at math?
Because, when they need to multiply, they divide.
I wish Stephen Hawking was an organ donor. I need some parts for my laptop.
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house? Don't worry, he hasn't neither.
Two men walked into a bar, and one man asked for H20, and the other man asked for H20 too.
Only one man came out alive.
Rocks are used too much; people take 'em for granite.
What was the one test Stephen Hawking couldn't pass? The beep test.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
- They see me rolling.
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
Why couldn't the NASA astronaut enter his rocket to leave Earth?
There wasn't enough space to fly it.
Do you know why no one speaks about George Washington?
John Adams turned him into atoms. John Adams was an alien.
Actually, Iron Man is female.