Did you hear that oxygen and magnesium hooked up last night?
OMg!
What did the neutron say to the atom?
"Sandwiches, dude!"
My wife is so fat, she gets weighed on the Richter scale.
Did you know penguins can fly if you throw them hard enough? Just like children!
You have two brain cells; one is lost, and the other is out looking for it.
Confusion life question!!!
* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?
The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.
They fear that social distancing measures could push people over the edge.
What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?
Oops!
My science teacher was talking about natural selection.
At one point, she asked me to name the first person to theorize about it. I said, "Eric Harris." It was on his shirt.
If you don't get the joke, look up "Eric Harris natural selection."
What went up but never came down?
Stephen Hawking's IQ.
Stephen Hawking said he wants other physicists to follow in his footsteps.
What did Jupiter say to Uranus? Hey, I can see your Uranus from here!
Why did Stephen Hawking die so soon?
Because his misses bought the wrong batteries.
I traveled through time to get my dad back.
I failed because I was 1e21 years off.
Why don't you fight a dinosaur?
You'll get jurasskicked.
If you are fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?
I’d tell BlessedBrian to aim for the stars, but it seems like his GRAVITATIONAL PULL is holding him back.
Heard Stephen Hawking is in a new movie and that the theme tune is absolutely banging. Think the opening line goes something like, “They see me rolling, they hating.”
The sky never changes color, but when it does, we know how your breath is increasing.
What do Stephen Hawking and the Wicked Witch have in common?
If you throw water over them, they both die...
