Science jokes
What color is Stephen Hawking's house?
It's a bungalow.
Knock knock. Who's there? Stephen Hawking. Wheelie?
Could never understand why people would say Stephen Hawking is a dead man walking.
Stephen Hawking walks, I mean rolls into a bar.
Who said, "That's a small step for man, a giant leap for mankind?"
Not Stephen Hawking.
Memes
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Stephen.
Can't you read? It says "No Hawking."
If you execute someone in ventricular fibrillation in the electric chair, will they come back to life once and then die?
What does E.T. stand for? Because he has little legs.
What does S.H. stand for? He doesn't.
What does S.H. stand for? Shit happens.
Stephen Hawking prefers rolls to slices of bread.
Aaaah, I really wish Stephen Hawking was an organ donor...
I really need some new parts to my go-kart.
When I said I wanted vegetable stew, I didn’t mean boil Stephen Hawking!
When a rocketship went into space, seven astronauts went into space. That's why it's called NASA.
Why was Stephen Hawking never trusted when taking a quiz?
"No computers allowed on the test!"
Uranus is pronounced "ur anus."
Why is the ocean blue?
A: Because the fish go, "blu-blu."
When I wear all black, I'm not emo. I'm a rainbow, 'cause I'm wearing all the colors. #Science
You're so skinny the world turns to the left!
Phobos and Deimos are just asteroids in moon costumes, and Mars was blind due to its frequent sandstorms, so it let Phobos and Deimos be its moons.
Why was the noble gas not emo?
Because they were thinking RIGHT.
Look behind you, there is Stephen Hawking.
Nobody.