How were Stephen Hawking's best mates, Siri and Google?
My will to live.
I wanna see Stephen Hawking on nitrous.
I would tell you a chemistry pun, but I won't get a reaction.
Timmy has 5 apples.
His train is 7 minutes early.
Calculate the mass of the sun.
A NASA scientist is sitting in a bar when a Martian walks in and orders a martini.
The NASA scientist quickly realizes he is dreaming and wakes up. He turns to his wife and tries to explain the dream, but she rolls over and ignores him because she is tired of listening to him.
The NASA scientist begins to sob because his marriage is in shambles. lmao.
What is Hawking's number one song? The Beach Boys: "I Get Around."
The reason why Steven H. died was that someone poisoned his chocolate mousse.
You’re so lame, you don’t have a superpower!
"Yah, I do!"
Oh yeah? What is it?
"My diaphragm contracts and moves downwards into my chest cavity and my lungs expand!"
That’s breathing, Jim.
"NO IT’S NOT, JACOB, YOU CAN’T PROVE IT!"
Science gets you to the moon.
Religion flies you into buildings.
Where did Stephen Hawking go when he wanted to get drunk? The Genius Bar.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a dinosaur?
Jurassic Park.
August 3rd is the moon of earth, earth, moon, earth, universe.
What do you get when the queen farts a noble gas?
What do you get when a dino farts? A blast from the past.
Why are ninja farts so dangerous? They are silent but deadly.
What did one astronaut say to the other astronaut after landing on the Moon?
"Ah! And people thought we were moons!"
What do you call a man with 6.022 x 10^23 dollars?
A Moleionaire.
Why didn't Stephen Hawking ever eat chicken wings? Because he didn't exist.
Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?
He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.
I made this one up myself just now.
Stephen Hawking would be a good pilot because the aircraft would be the first to take off and land in autopilot.
How cool is NASA?
Not cool at all.
