Science jokes
Why did the doctor check out Earth?
He had a tummy quake.
Why do pills work?
Because they are white.
Geology rocks!
Why is mercury like everything else in the world?
Because it gives you cancer.
He's dead now.
Memes
gay people
One time, I bought a magnet. My wife asked why I bought it. I said I couldn't help myself; I felt attracted to it.
Why did the math book go to the psychologist?
It had too many problems.
Stephen Hawking died because his wife misunderstood him when he said, "My Windows Needs Updating." She had the double glazing removed, and he fell out and died.
How many apps did he download?
Well, he did run out of storage.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite genre of music? Rock and roll.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
[Link to YouTube video]
Uranus is up in the sky today.
What do you call people who go to space? Icetronauts lolololol hahahahah.
How did Helen Keller die?
Her ex gave her plutonium and told her to eat it.
Why didn't Neptune marry Saturn?
Because he knew he wasn't hot!
Why is the sun lit?
Because it has much solar.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a fish?
A genetically unstable animal that is impossible and would die instantly upon existing. If it could live, it would be a deformed, parasitic tumor that undulates through people.
What did the dog say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? "Hey, mitosis!"
Apparently Steven Hawking was a stand-up kind of guy.
What do you call an old snowman that survived till summer?...
Water... yup, water...