Science jokes

I was gonna tell you a sodium joke, but Na, only I thought it was so dium funny.

What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire? Hot wheels!

So, a neutron went to a bar. He asked the bartender how much for a beer. The bartender said, "For you, no charge."

How would Steven Hawking's mom punish him as a kid?

Power off his chair.

I'd make a joke about Noble Gases, but I probably wouldn't get much of a reaction.

Man, I’m so sorry that Stephen Hawking is dead; he was such a good person.

Too bad it’s a staircase to Heaven and not a ramp.

How did Stephen Hawking die?

Somebody threw an EMP at him.

What did the cell say when it was dividing?

"It's not you, it's me."

Stephen Hawking died because his WiFi ran out.

Have they tried switching him off and on again?

The reason Steven Hawking died is he lost his internet connection.

I tried to catch fog, but I mist.

Who's never the last man standing?

Stephen Hawking.

Stephen Hawking has enough money to stand up, but can’t grab the money.

If Stephen Hawking got into a fight, he could not stand up for himself.

Why did Steven Hawking go to hell?

Because there is a stairway to heaven.

What's white as snow within 15-25 mins after death and then black and blue and red all over?

A corpse, of course!

Why did people bully Steven Hawking?

Because he couldn't stand up for himself.

What is Stephen Hawking's favorite lunch? Eggs and shoulders.

What did the cell say when his sister stepped on his foot?

Mitosis!!! (my-toe-sis)