Science jokes
What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?
Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.
Yo mamma so fat, scientists say she's the closest planet to Earth!
*JMC*
ANOMALY-931
"Gwen"
Identification: just a stupid animal, with a big ass heart.
How do you execute Stephen Hawking?
The electric wheelchair.
Why is Stephen Hawking not scared of anyone?
His wheelchair always backs him up.
A boxer talks with his fists.
Stephen Hawking talks with his wheelchair.
I wonder if Stephen Hawking was an organ donor because I need new parts for my go-kart.
What do high school kids and Dow have in common? They both test chemicals.
What sound did Stephen Hawking make when he died? Power off.
What do whales use to rub out a mistake in their homework? Their blubber.
"Bill? Bill?" Bill hears faintly in the distance.
Bill Nye snapped back into reality only to find he had peed all over the set.
Popcorn means Photo-Oxidant formation by Plant-emitted Compounds and OH Radicals in Northeastern Germany.
HO means a woman, in particular one who has many casual fricking encounters or relationships. So basically, popcorn is a woman in plant based frick chamber in a nazi camp.
I wondered as the rock in the sky got bigger and bigger, then it hit the bottom of the Earth, and... "explosion!"
Why are Amoebas so bad at math?
Because, when they need to multiply, they divide.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
"Highway to Hell."
What did Stephen Hawking get for his B-Day?
Chocolate arm.
What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can’t hear an enzyme.
Why don't you act like an amoeba and split?
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "Can I have a drink of H2O?" Then the second says, "Can I have a drink of H2O2?" and he dies.
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. When the neutron gets his drink, he asks, "Bartender, how much do I owe you?"
The bartender replies, "For you, neutron, no charge."