Science jokes
Yo mamma so fat, scientists say she's the closest planet to Earth!
How do you execute Stephen Hawking?
The electric wheelchair.
Why is Stephen Hawking not scared of anyone?
His wheelchair always backs him up.
A boxer talks with his fists.
Stephen Hawking talks with his wheelchair.
Science teacher: How many times can the earth fit into the sun?
Me: As many times as the earth can fit into you.
"Bill? Bill?" Bill hears faintly in the distance.
Bill Nye snapped back into reality only to find he had peed all over the set.
Why are Amoebas so bad at math?
Because, when they need to multiply, they divide.
Popcorn means Photo-Oxidant formation by Plant-emitted Compounds and OH Radicals in Northeastern Germany.
HO means a woman, in particular one who has many casual fricking encounters or relationships. So basically, popcorn is a woman in plant based frick chamber in a nazi camp.
I wondered as the rock in the sky got bigger and bigger, then it hit the bottom of the Earth, and... "explosion!"
What do whales use to rub out a mistake in their homework? Their blubber.
Why is it hard having a relationship with an astronaut?
Because they are always so distant. :-]
I heard oxygen and magnesium were dating, and I was like, "OMg!"
What kind of fish knows math?
An anglerfish LOL
AP Chemistry.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
"Highway to Hell."
What did Stephen Hawking get for his B-Day?
Chocolate arm.
What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can’t hear an enzyme.
Are you made of Gallium and Yttrium?
Because you are looking a little bit GaY.
What do you call the closest plant to the sun? The hot ball.
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "Can I have a drink of H2O?" Then the second says, "Can I have a drink of H2O2?" and he dies.