Science jokes
What do high school kids and Dow have in common? They both test chemicals.
What sound did Stephen Hawking make when he died? Power off.
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One turns to the other and says, "I think I've lost my electron."
The other asks, "Are you sure?"
"Yes," the first says, "I'm positive!"
"Bill? Bill?" Bill hears faintly in the distance.
Bill Nye snapped back into reality only to find he had peed all over the set.
Popcorn means Photo-Oxidant formation by Plant-emitted Compounds and OH Radicals in Northeastern Germany.
HO means a woman, in particular one who has many casual fricking encounters or relationships. So basically, popcorn is a woman in plant based frick chamber in a nazi camp.
Memes
What do whales use to rub out a mistake in their homework? Their blubber.
I wondered as the rock in the sky got bigger and bigger, then it hit the bottom of the Earth, and... "explosion!"
Why are Amoebas so bad at math?
Because, when they need to multiply, they divide.
AP Chemistry.
Mitosis!!!!!! >:)
There were 3 blonde scientists...wait that’s not the joke. The first one said “we are going to pilot the first unmanned spacecraft to land on the sun.”
The second one said “but we can’t do that - if we get within 5 feet of the sun we’ll freeze to death!”
The third blonde says “so we go at night.”
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
"Highway to Hell."
What did Stephen Hawking get for his B-Day?
Chocolate arm.
What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can’t hear an enzyme.
Are you made of Gallium and Yttrium?
Because you are looking a little bit GaY.
What do you call the closest plant to the sun? The hot ball.
Yo mama's so fat that Jane Goodall couldn't tell if she was a chimpanzee or a human being.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? ... Because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep."
How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
It only takes one, but it takes a long time, and the light bulb has to want to change.
Yo, hairline goes farther back than the Big Bang theory!