Science jokes
Why is it hard having a relationship with an astronaut?
Because they are always so distant. :-]
I heard oxygen and magnesium were dating, and I was like, "OMg!"
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
What kind of fish knows math?
An anglerfish LOL
NASA called me and they said they reached your hairline.
Memes
False.
How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
Give him a tampon and ask him what period it came from.
TV: Water found on Mars...
Mars: 1
Africa: 0
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite type of music?
Rock and Roll.
What is a pedophile's favorite planet?
Uranus.
There were 3 blonde scientists...wait that’s not the joke. The first one said “we are going to pilot the first unmanned spacecraft to land on the sun.”
The second one said “but we can’t do that - if we get within 5 feet of the sun we’ll freeze to death!”
The third blonde says “so we go at night.”
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
"Highway to Hell."
What did Stephen Hawking get for his B-Day?
Chocolate arm.
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "Can I have a drink of H2O?" Then the second says, "Can I have a drink of H2O2?" and he dies.
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. When the neutron gets his drink, he asks, "Bartender, how much do I owe you?"
The bartender replies, "For you, neutron, no charge."
Why did Stephen Hawking die? ... Because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep."
A feather and a depressed boy fell at the same time, which one hits the ground first?
The feather, because the rope stopped the child.
Why did the sun go to school? To get brighter!
Yo, hairline goes farther back than the Big Bang theory!
What do you call the closest plant to the sun? The hot ball.
Yo mama's so fat that Jane Goodall couldn't tell if she was a chimpanzee or a human being.