Science jokes
Don't trust an atom. They're stupid!
What does it say on Stephen Hawking's headstone?
R. I. P. Roll in Peace.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite snake?
Microchips.
Geology rocks!
What is black and at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking's after a fire.
False.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo?
Head and Shoulders.
A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building.
He yells, "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"
Why can’t you trust an atom? Because they make up literally everything.
Why did Stephen Hawking fall over?
'Cause he had a screw loose!
Your hairline is so bent, not even NASA can find it.
What keeps you breathing when you're on Earth?
I don't know. I suffocated at birth.
Why do orphans hate mitosis cells?
They have parents.
If you had the strength of an ant, you could lift the pyramid of Giza.
(Ants can lift items 20x their weight.)
I was sitting in math class, and our teacher doesn't like it if we don't work on math in his class. So, I did science homework on top of a math book.
Why did the sun not go to college? Because it already has a million degrees!
How did Helen Keller die?
Her ex gave her plutonium and told her to eat it.
What kind of air does Ariana breathe?
Helium?
Why couldn’t the guy make bubbles?
He couldn’t find the right solution.
Did you hear about Fridgetair
Kelvinator?
What's black and sits on top of a staircase?
Stephen Hawking's after a house fire.