What do you call nitrogen in the day? You call it day-trogen!
I followed the sun for a day (stood there at noon). I found myself at the same spot.
Which is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch cold.
What did the neutrino say to the planet? -- "Just passing through."
Is Stephen Hawking a physicist now?
No, because he is dead.
STEPHEN HAWKINS ISNT ACCTUALLY DEAD HE IS JUST HAVING A UPDATE
Little Jimmy has 5 red apples. His dad's car will arrive in 20 minutes. Calculate the mass of the Sun.
How do flat-earthers travel? On a plane.
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One turns to the other and says, "I think I've lost my electron."
The other asks, "Are you sure?"
"Yes," the first says, "I'm positive!"
Why is helium so expensive? It is due to inflation.
Engineer: I know engineering, and my gut instinct tells me to fix it!
Biologist: I know biology, and your gut instinct is full of shit.
What type of comedy can't Steven Hawking do?
Stand-up comedy.
My reverse psychologist told me I didn't have it in me to make a recovery.
Why couldn’t the guy make bubbles?
He couldn’t find the right solution.
Guys, there is no need to worry about anti-vaxxers. The more there are, the less there are.
Q: How heavy is a photon?
A: It's light!
What do you call a prehistoric crow? Crow-Magnon.
How do chemists laugh?
HeHe.
What did the pirate say to Argon?
Ar!
Why didn't the boy want to read "2000 Leagues Under the Sea"?
It was too much pressure.
