Science

Science jokes

Death

Why did Stephen Hawking die? ... Because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep."

Scientist

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "Can I have a drink of H2O?" Then the second says, "Can I have a drink of H2O2?" and he dies.

Memes

Heaven

When I went to heaven, I saw Steven Hawking standing there. I asked why he isn’t in heaven yet. He said there are stairs.

Kid

How can you tell an anti-vaccine kid?

It's only got 10 hours to live.

Gravity

An assassin threatens a planet.

The planet remains calm.

The assassin: "Do you not realize the gravity of this situation?"

Atom

Two atom soldiers are fighting against an army. One gets shot. He cried out, "I'm hit! I think I've lost an electron!"

"Are you sure?" asks the other.

"I'm positive!"

Crush

My mom is a chemistry teacher.

Mom: You can’t be attracted to something without it being attracted to you back.

Me: Tell that to my FUCKING CRUSH, BITCH!

House

Have you walked into Steven Hawking's house yet?

Yeah, neither has he.

Atom

Why did the electron leave the atom?

Because it didn't want to be argon.

Astronaut

Where do astronauts 👩‍🚀 keep their sandwiches 🥪?

In their launch box! 🚀📦😂

Sun

Why doesn’t the sun ☀️ go to college?

Because it has a million degrees.