Science jokes
Yo, hairline goes farther back than the Big Bang theory!
A feather and a depressed boy fell at the same time, which one hits the ground first?
The feather, because the rope stopped the child.
Why did the sun go to school? To get brighter!
Why is Saturn richer than other planets?
It has a ring!
Why don't you act like an amoeba and split?
Q: How did the skeleton know it would rain? A: He read the weather forecast.
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "Can I have a drink of H2O?" Then the second says, "Can I have a drink of H2O2?" and he dies.
Why did the cumulonimbus not show up for work?
Because it was on strike.
What dinosaur loves music?
The velociRAPtor!
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His core i5 Overheated. XD
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. When the neutron gets his drink, he asks, "Bartender, how much do I owe you?"
The bartender replies, "For you, neutron, no charge."
I didn’t know Stephen Hawking died. Oh god, it must have been when I disconnected the Wi-Fi!
When I went to heaven, I saw Steven Hawking standing there. I asked why he isn’t in heaven yet. He said there are stairs.
Why don’t they let Stephen Hawking have other electronics around him? Because he will sound staticky.
I told a chemistry joke. There was no reaction.
How can you tell an anti-vaccine kid?
It's only got 10 hours to live.
An assassin threatens a planet.
The planet remains calm.
The assassin: "Do you not realize the gravity of this situation?"
Two atom soldiers are fighting against an army. One gets shot. He cried out, "I'm hit! I think I've lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?" asks the other.
"I'm positive!"
My mom is a chemistry teacher.
Mom: You can’t be attracted to something without it being attracted to you back.
Me: Tell that to my FUCKING CRUSH, BITCH!
What do you call Stephen Hawking's toes on fire?
Hot Wheels.