Science jokes
What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can’t hear an enzyme.
Yo, hairline goes farther back than the Big Bang theory!
What do you call the closest plant to the sun? The hot ball.
Yo mama's so fat that Jane Goodall couldn't tell if she was a chimpanzee or a human being.
A feather and a depressed boy fell at the same time, which one hits the ground first?
The feather, because the rope stopped the child.
Memes
False.
Why did the sun go to school? To get brighter!
Why is Saturn richer than other planets?
It has a ring!
Q: How did the skeleton know it would rain? A: He read the weather forecast.
Why don't you act like an amoeba and split?
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His core i5 Overheated. XD
Why don’t they let Stephen Hawking have other electronics around him? Because he will sound staticky.
I didn’t know Stephen Hawking died. Oh god, it must have been when I disconnected the Wi-Fi!
When I went to heaven, I saw Steven Hawking standing there. I asked why he isn’t in heaven yet. He said there are stairs.
How can you tell an anti-vaccine kid?
It's only got 10 hours to live.
An assassin threatens a planet.
The planet remains calm.
The assassin: "Do you not realize the gravity of this situation?"
I told a chemistry joke. There was no reaction.
Two atom soldiers are fighting against an army. One gets shot. He cried out, "I'm hit! I think I've lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?" asks the other.
"I'm positive!"
My mom is a chemistry teacher.
Mom: You can’t be attracted to something without it being attracted to you back.
Me: Tell that to my FUCKING CRUSH, BITCH!
What do you call Stephen Hawking's toes on fire?
Hot Wheels.
What runs faster than Stephen Hawking in his wheelchair?
His Internet.