Science jokes
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo? Head and Shoulders.
What does a physicist call it when a suicidal person is high up? Potential energy.
What makes a software developer feel rich?
Their cache.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Atoms are small, But so are you!
He's dead.
Why can't dinosaurs talk?
'Cause they're dead.
What do you call a mushroom that makes music?
A decomposer.
Stand? Wait. No.
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One turns to the other and says, "I think I've lost my electron."
The other asks, "Are you sure?"
"Yes," the first says, "I'm positive!"
Very funny battery joke.
Why did Stephen Hawking's wife leave him? She was sick of buying triple A batteries.
If a king farts, is it a noble gas?
What does Stephen Hawking have for food?
NASA is going to probe Uranus, and it might take a while to get there.
What do you call Stephen Hawking in a burning building?
Hot Wheels.
I told a chemistry joke. There was no reaction.
When I said I wanted vegetable stew, I didn’t mean boil Stephen Hawking!
When you die, scientists will preserve your skull.
What do you call the closest plant to the sun? The hot ball.
What kind of air does Ariana breathe?
Helium?