Science jokes
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His core i5 Overheated. XD
Why did the cumulonimbus not show up for work?
Because it was on strike.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? ... Because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep."
What dinosaur loves music?
The velociRAPtor!
How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
It only takes one, but it takes a long time, and the light bulb has to want to change.
Are you made of Gallium and Yttrium?
Because you are looking a little bit GaY.
Yo mama's so fat that Jane Goodall couldn't tell if she was a chimpanzee or a human being.
What do you call the closest plant to the sun? The hot ball.
Yo, hairline goes farther back than the Big Bang theory!
A feather and a depressed boy fell at the same time, which one hits the ground first?
The feather, because the rope stopped the child.
Why did the sun go to school? To get brighter!
Q: How did the skeleton know it would rain? A: He read the weather forecast.
Why is Saturn richer than other planets?
It has a ring!
I told a chemistry joke. There was no reaction.
How can you tell an anti-vaccine kid?
It's only got 10 hours to live.
An assassin threatens a planet.
The planet remains calm.
The assassin: "Do you not realize the gravity of this situation?"
I didn’t know Stephen Hawking died. Oh god, it must have been when I disconnected the Wi-Fi!
When I went to heaven, I saw Steven Hawking standing there. I asked why he isn’t in heaven yet. He said there are stairs.
Two atom soldiers are fighting against an army. One gets shot. He cried out, "I'm hit! I think I've lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?" asks the other.
"I'm positive!"
What do you call Stephen Hawking's toes on fire?
Hot Wheels.