Science jokes

You have two parts of [your] brain, "left" and "right". In the left side, there's nothing right. In the right side, there's nothing left.

The emo girl in my class did her photosynthesis project on a tree. Little did she know that would be her demise later on.

Why can’t dinosaurs clap? Cuz they are all dead.

How to get rid of non-vaccinators: call water a "dehydration vaccine."

What’s black and at the top of a stair case?

Stephen Hawking during a house fire.

If a fly loses its wings, is it now a walk? Wait a minute, I found out a mind blower. So the 🌎 is the 3rd planet from the sun, doesn't that mean all countries are called the 3rd country of 🌎? If I get 10 likes, I'll do one mind-blowing fact daily.

If the sun is in space, then why is there light on Earth, but not in space?

"The rise of atheism is going to lead to a break down of social morals and lead to all kinds of filth, including an increase in child abuse," said the village priest.

The village scientists did some fact checking. In prison, they found roughly 70% of child abusers were hyper religious before committing the crimes, and another 20% converted to religions to look 'remorseful'. The remaining 10% preferred not to say. They presented the findings to the media.

"Scientists slander good religious folk and ignore the weight of evidence!"

"Is Science biased against religion? You decide in this survey," they reported.

The village priest is living at his majesty's convenience and tells the others he committed armed robbery.

"Why is this a joke? It's not even funny!" said the person reading this, breaking the forth wall.

What is funny is you got to the end of this post and didn't cringe. Why not?

What do you call Panera bread that has been weathered and eventually gathered and via cementation and pressure, it becomes a layer of different materials and is also one of the most common types of rock in the sea?

Panera Sed!

What's an astronaut's favorite game? Space-ball!

Hey girl, are you a scientist?

Cause you made my thing into a baking soda volcano.

What does a volcano say when it has a runny nose?

"I have runny volcanoes."

You're so skinny that the professor thought you were the skeleton.

I was with my friend atom the other day. He’s pretty tall . . . Compared to you.

You should wear binoculars when calculating. It helps divide.

Your mama is so fat, when scientists discovered her, they thought it was a new galaxy.

How'd the skeleton know it was going to rain? He looked at the weather forecast.

What's black, has four wheels, and sits at the top of the stairs?

Steven Hawking after a house fire.

Yo momma so fat, when she farted the Big Bang occurred.

I heard helium won the lottery. Turns out, he lied.