Science jokes
Why is he called Stephen Hawking?
Because he is always trying to hawk up phlegm to clear his throat.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Steven.
Can't you read? It says, "No Hawking."
Funny how "Hawking" rhymes with "talking" and "walking," and he can't do either.
And the first four letters of his Christian name spell "step," and he also can't do that.
Knock knock. Who's there? Beep boop S.t.e.p.h.e.n beep boop H.a.w.k.i.n.g.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite line in Rambo?
"Don't push me."
Stephen Hawking was a bit of a hardcase. He didn't let people push him around.
Stephen Hawking is to wheelchairs like Uncle Ben is to rice.
If Stephen Hawking was a boxer, he would roll with the punches.
Stephen Hawking walks, I mean rolls into a bar.
Stephen Hawking prefers rolls to slices of bread.
Could never understand why people would say Stephen Hawking is a dead man walking.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
It's me. I can't get in because Stephen Hawking is in the way.
Knock knock. Who's there? Stephen Hawking. Wheelie?
What does E.T. stand for? Because he has little legs.
What does S.H. stand for? He doesn't.
What does S.H. stand for? Shit happens.
Stephen Hawking's best subjects were Physics and Maths. His worst was P.E.
What color is Stephen Hawking's house?
It's a bungalow.
Stephen Hawking was a spac. But if you put an E on the end, you get space, and he loved that.
What does Stephen Hawking and a prostitute have in common?
They both charge.
On one hand he was fantastic and the other a spastic. You could say he was a fantastic spastic.
Do you know Stephen is dead? He doesn't have a stone. Do you know how to find him? A metal detector.