You are so fat that when you go out to check your letterbox, it measures 8 on the Richter scale.
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?
Poor guy really needs some space.
When you die, scientists will preserve your skull.
I got a call from NASA. They’ve reached your hairline.
Why did Stephen die so early?
He didn't use long lasting batteries.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food? His left shoulder.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite robot? Him as his shoulder/wheelchair.
A boxer talks with his fists.
Stephen Hawking talks with his wheelchair.
Why is Stephen Hawking not scared of anyone?
His wheelchair always backs him up.
They say Jesus walked on water.
That's nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.
Stephen Hawking was a spac. But if you put an E on the end, you get space, and he loved that.
What does Stephen Hawking and a prostitute have in common ? They both charge.
If gravity pulls things down at 9.8 m/s squared, why did the emo kid not come down?
Yo mamma so fat, scientists say she's the closest planet to Earth!
What happens if you put your hand in glue? Your hand will stay there forever! I'm joking, hahaha!
If Finding Nemo was scientifically correct, Marlin would have changed into a female and mated with Nemo.
What's the difference between you and Frankenstein? He is not ugly like you plus, He has a wife.
What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?
Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.
What do you call a bottle of water flying over Africa?
A UFO.
Science teacher: How many times can the earth fit into the sun?
Me: As many times as the earth can fit into you.
How do planets have a baby?
They have spasex.
