Science jokes
What's black, has four wheels, and sits at the top of the stairs?
Steven Hawking after a house fire.
Yo momma so fat, when she farted the Big Bang occurred.
I heard helium won the lottery. Turns out, he lied.
I went up to my mom and asked how humanity started. She said it started with monkeys, so I went up to my dad and asked. My dad said it all started with Adam and Eve, so I told my dad that mom said humanity started with monkeys, and dad said mom was telling her side of the story. LOL🤣
My wife is so fat, she gets weighed on the Richter scale.
Yo mama so fat, she found the barrier to outer space!
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one asks for a glass of H2O. The second one asks for a glass of H2O, too. The second one dies. Why?
Why is Newton not allowed to visit local farms?
The owners know that forces come in pears.
What do you call a person who measures air? Airometer.
I took my girlfriend to the beach and a marine biologist thought she was a beluga whale!
Why are tomatoes red? Because they contain the carotenoid lycopene!
XD RawR woof woof bark bark UwU meowwwww ROFL LMAO LOLOLOOLOLOL KEKW KEKW PEPELASUGH
What happens if you inhale too much nitrous oxide (laughing gas)?
You die of laughter.
What did the neutron say to the atom?
"Sandwiches, dude!"
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true.
I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything.
Did you hear that oxygen and magnesium hooked up last night?
OMg!
So, Dad is teaching his 8-year-old son about the planets and said, "This is Uranus." Then the 5-year-old son says, "Where is my anus?"
Why is NASA so sus?
'Cause they wanted to see Uranus.
Your hairline is like the universe. It's still waiting to be discovered.
How do astronomers organize a party? They planet.