What's black, has four wheels, and sits at the top of the stairs?
Steven Hawking after a house fire.
I heard helium won the lottery. Turns out, he lied.
I went up to my mom and asked how humanity started. She said it started with monkeys, so I went up to my dad and asked. My dad said it all started with Adam and Eve, so I told my dad that mom said humanity started with monkeys, and dad said mom was telling her side of the story. LOLπ€£
My wife is so fat, she gets weighed on the Richter scale.
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one asks for a glass of H2O. The second one asks for a glass of H2O, too. The second one dies. Why?
Why is Newton not allowed to visit local farms?
The owners know that forces come in pears.
What do you call a person who measures air? Airometer.
Why are tomatoes red? Because they contain the carotenoid lycopene!
XD RawR woof woof bark bark UwU meowwwww ROFL LMAO LOLOLOOLOLOL KEKW KEKW PEPELASUGH
What happens if you inhale too much nitrous oxide (laughing gas)?
You die of laughter.
What did the neutron say to the atom?
"Sandwiches, dude!"
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true.
I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Why donβt scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything.
Did you hear that oxygen and magnesium hooked up last night?
OMg!
Your hairline is like the universe. It's still waiting to be discovered.
I'm no astronomer, but Iβm pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.
In my science class we were watching a video, and for no reason at all, it started talking about Black Lives Matter, and my friend leaned over and whispered, βWhite lives matter more!β
Your hairline's so far back even Bill Nye the Science Guy couldn't use photosynthesis to fix it.
Steven Hawking was so excited for Christmas till he realized he got socks.
2+2+67+23= Now calculate the mass of the Solar system. Be these questions these days.
Why could dinosaurs not talk? Because they were dead.
