I work on medicine; my job is to smell it to see if it's bad :)
My (at the time) boyfriend told our chemistry teacher that blood is corrosive to steel.
Anyways, my sharpener isn’t working because the blade has been too badly damaged from something else...
My science teacher was talking about natural selection.
At one point, she asked me to name the first person to theorize about it. I said, "Eric Harris." It was on his shirt.
If you don't get the joke, look up "Eric Harris natural selection."
SCP-1540 transforms in-front of a d-class:
D-class: Whoa dude, you’re a wolf!
SCP-1540: A am a were.
Today my biology teacher asked me what's commonly found in a cell......... And apparently "black people" isn't the right answer.
There's a new bird disease, it's called churpies.
It's a canariel disease, untweetable.
Ur mom is so fat that she has her own gravitational field. She attracts everything around her, from planets to asteroids to comets. She is the center of the solar system, and the sun is just one of her many satellites. She is so massive that she bends space and time, creating wormholes and black holes. She is the ultimate cosmic phenomenon, and no one can escape her pull.
Ur mom is so old that she witnessed the Big Bang. She was there when the universe was born, and she has seen it all. She knows the secrets of the cosmos, and she has lived through every epoch and era. She has watched stars form and die, galaxies collide and merge, and civilizations rise and fall. She is the oldest living being in existence, and she has more wisdom than anyone can imagine.
Ur mom is so ugly that she scares away aliens. She is the reason why we have never made contact with extraterrestrial life. They have seen her face and they have fled in terror. They have warned their fellow species to avoid Earth at all costs, because it is inhabited by a monstrous creature that defies all logic and beauty. She is the ultimate deterrent for invasion, and she has saved humanity from countless alien invasions.
The earth was once flat... until they buried your mom.
So big that when you step, you break the whole galaxy.
Women will always be superior to men. After all, they are FEmale (Fe - iron, male - man).
You have two parts of [your] brain, "left" and "right". In the left side, there's nothing right. In the right side, there's nothing left.
The emo girl in my class did her photosynthesis project on a tree. Little did she know that would be her demise later on.
Why can’t dinosaurs clap? Cuz they are all dead.
How to get rid of non-vaccinators: call water a "dehydration vaccine."
What’s black and at the top of a stair case?
Stephen Hawking during a house fire.
If a fly loses its wings, is it now a walk? Wait a minute, I found out a mind blower. So the 🌎 is the 3rd planet from the sun, doesn't that mean all countries are called the 3rd country of 🌎? If I get 10 likes, I'll do one mind-blowing fact daily.
If the sun is in space, then why is there light on Earth, but not in space?
"The rise of atheism is going to lead to a break down of social morals and lead to all kinds of filth, including an increase in child abuse," said the village priest.
The village scientists did some fact checking. In prison, they found roughly 70% of child abusers were hyper religious before committing the crimes, and another 20% converted to religions to look 'remorseful'. The remaining 10% preferred not to say. They presented the findings to the media.
"Scientists slander good religious folk and ignore the weight of evidence!"
"Is Science biased against religion? You decide in this survey," they reported.
The village priest is living at his majesty's convenience and tells the others he committed armed robbery.
"Why is this a joke? It's not even funny!" said the person reading this, breaking the forth wall.
What is funny is you got to the end of this post and didn't cringe. Why not?
What do you call Panera bread that has been weathered and eventually gathered and via cementation and pressure, it becomes a layer of different materials and is also one of the most common types of rock in the sea?
Panera Sed!
What's an astronaut's favorite game? Space-ball!
