Said

Said jokes

Yo mama

    • I told my dad that I wanted to go to a college with a 100% acceptance rate and a 50% graduation rate, and he said, "Your mom doesn't count as a college!"

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    Class

    • I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.

    I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"

    She said, "She was a little tardy."

    I asked her, "I thought they all were."

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    Said memes

    Child

    • My uncle sayEd to me once, "You're my favorite child." And I said, "You mean Nece?" He said, "No, my favorite child."

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    Coffee

    • I asked a man for ten dollars for a cup of coffee. The man said coffee was only a quarter. I told him I was putting all my begs in one ask-it.

    Cat

    • Once my cat was playing video games. I was OVERWATCHing him.

    I asked him to PAWS the game. He then hissed at me. I was surprised; he usually has a good PURRsonality. He said he YARNED to play the game.

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    Plane

    • Every single person on the plane died except for 2. How is that possible?

    It said all the single people died; the 2 were a couple. That's how it was possible.

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    Okay

    • My parents said to me, "Whenever you say sorry to someone and they say, 'It's okay,' it's really not."

    So I said, "Okay."

    Masturbation

    • My son caught me masturbating. He asked me, "What are you doing?" and I said, "Don't worry, son, you'll be doing it soon." He asks, "Why is that?" and I said, "My arm's getting tired."

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    Fridge

    • My husband left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!

    Mama

    • Yo mama so fat that when she landed on the moon, instead of saying "One small step for man kind," she said, "One small step for world domination!"