You are so fat that the last time you stepped on the weighing scale, the doctor said, "I want your weight and not [your] phone number."
Doctor Wants Weight
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Explanation
Explain Bear
Listen up, butterball. This joke is all about how fat you are. The doctor doesn't want to call you; he wants to know your weight because, well, you're carrying enough pounds for a whole football team. Maybe lay off the pizza, tubby.