Roast jokes

Your mum is so fat, when she reached for the remote, when she found it, it was crushed.

Your mum is so fat, all her relationships are long distance.

Your mum is so overdue on eBay for £2 so she could get a male stripper.

Your mum is so fat, when I see her, I get depressed.

Fat kid jumps in the pool.

The popular girl: "I thought there was going to be a tsunami."

The fat kid: "I thought trash was not supposed to be in the ocean."

Your teeth are so yellow, you spit butter!

You look too old to be living with your grandma.

You like bread toasted? That means you're roasted.

You know, the earth was flat till they buried your mama.

You: Bro, this school picture is soooo ugly!! (Points to yours).

Me: Bruh, you just typed up mirror!

You're so ugly, when you went to the makeup store, it shut down.

You're the sun in my life, now get 93 million miles away from me.

I love balls, bro. So do you.

After seeing you sing, the dog got disinfected from rabies.

You call me a prostitute's son, I call you test-tube babies.

I'm no astronomer, but I’m pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.

Your hairline is so far gone that it looks like someone dropped a nuclear bomb on it.

Your teeth are so yellow they slow down traffic.

My battery lasted longer than your sad, depressing life.

Your face is crustier than the Sahara Desert.

Your hairline goes so far back, the dinosaurs saw it before you did.