Roast jokes
Treat me like a joke, and I will leave you like it's funny.
You're so ugly whenever you say hi, people walk away and say that you were too ugly, and they go take a bath right away because you're so stinky.
They say that you look like your mama. Wait, your mama must be just like you because I can see her way from a mile!
You say you put on perfume, but every time I smell you, you smell like poo-poo. You're so ugly that when your mom looks in the mirror, you cry. You're so stupid the second-grade teacher had to tell you to go all the way to kindergarten. Head Start is every grade below you. You can't even go to the 20th grade, which stands for 9th grade. You can't even go to grocery stores, and people that tell you that you're so ugly give you compliments just to make you feel better. You know that everybody just likes you just because they just don't want to hurt your feelings, so just stay in your mind. Hey, you want to text Matt; you know it was you because every time you see you, you think that you matter. Matter fact, he doesn't even like you; he just wants your money girl. Who even likes you? 😈😈
You're so ugly when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.
Teacher: Okay class, look at the person to the right of you and describe them with one word.
Me: *looks to the right of me and sees the pick-me girl* "Penny."
Teacher: *shocked* How is she a penny?
Me: 'Cause she's two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants. Not to mention worth practically nothing.
The only woman to ever tell you that they loved you was your mom. (If she even loved you in the first place.)
Your mum is so fat when she died the Earth was flat! 😂😂😂😂
Why is your forehead so shiny? Did somebody laminate you? You're so shiny, Mulan can look into your forehead and sing "Reflection."
If I missed something, I'll give it to you. If you taked it, you are a mistake.
You're so fat, you only know the letters KFC.
Maybe you should go on eBay to see if they have a life for sale.
No wonder why I can't find you. You're in the trash bin.
I know your name is baller cause I'm gonna put my baller into yo MOTHER HOLLER!
Your hairline is so big it took your mom a map to find it.
What's the difference between your dad and a boomerang?
The boomerang comes back.
If you had a dollar for every time someone said you're ugly, you'd meet someone who wouldn't say you're ugly.
Yo mom's so old, she was happily accepted into the museum.
Ur mama so fat that when she went to the ocean, all the whales started singing, "We are family," even knowing your fatter than me.
Weirdo: I'm too high to die!
Me: You'll just fall harder.
The only reason communism started was because God looked at your face.
Your mom is so fat that when she went to the dentist, the man said, "One at a time."