Roast jokes
Teacher: Okay class, look at the person to the right of you and describe them with one word.
Me: *looks to the right of me and sees the pick-me girl* "Penny."
Teacher: *shocked* How is she a penny?
Me: 'Cause she's two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants. Not to mention worth practically nothing.
The only woman to ever tell you that they loved you was your mom. (If she even loved you in the first place.)
Your mum is so fat when she died the Earth was flat! 😂😂😂😂
Why is your forehead so shiny? Did somebody laminate you? You're so shiny, Mulan can look into your forehead and sing "Reflection."
If I missed something, I'll give it to you. If you taked it, you are a mistake.
You're so fat, you only know the letters KFC.
Maybe you should go on eBay to see if they have a life for sale.
No wonder why I can't find you. You're in the trash bin.
I know your name is baller cause I'm gonna put my baller into yo MOTHER HOLLER!
Your hairline is so big it took your mom a map to find it.
What's the difference between your dad and a boomerang?
The boomerang comes back.
If you had a dollar for every time someone said you're ugly, you'd meet someone who wouldn't say you're ugly.
Yo mom's so old, she was happily accepted into the museum.
Ur mama so fat that when she went to the ocean, all the whales started singing, "We are family," even knowing your fatter than me.
Weirdo: I'm too high to die!
Me: You'll just fall harder.
The only reason communism started was because God looked at your face.
Your mom is so fat that when she went to the dentist, the man said, "One at a time."
You're so fat the only letters of the alphabet you know are K, F, and C.
When was the last time you could see your whole body in the mirror?
You have two brain cells; one is lost, and the other is out looking for it.