Roast

Roast jokes

I'd say you were the spawn of Satan, but that would be an insult to Satan.

I'm not saying you're annoying. But if rectal herpes were a person, it would be you.

I hope you're an organ donor so your organs can go to someone who deserves them.

"Oh, you’re still talking? I thought background noise was supposed to fade out after a while. Must be tough waking up every day knowing your personality was a failed experiment."

Bro, you can't be talking. You built like Barney the dinosaur. Barney is a dinosaur with dinosaur sensation.

What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?

I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!

Do you remember blowing bubbles when you were younger?

Well, Bubbles is back in town and was asking about you!

If someone made a comedy routine about Terri Schiavo, would that be considered roasting a vegetable?

BREAKING NEWS

All the desert regions in the world are now considered lush rainforests. They house many different species of life and have significantly helped with the constant carbon dioxide emissions.

The reason why is because... Your texts are so dry.