Roast jokes

Yo mom's so old, she was happily accepted into the museum.

Ur mama so fat that when she went to the ocean, all the whales started singing, "We are family," even knowing your fatter than me.

Weirdo: I'm too high to die!

Me: You'll just fall harder.

The only reason communism started was because God looked at your face.

Your mom is so fat that when she went to the dentist, the man said, "One at a time."

You're so fat the only letters of the alphabet you know are K, F, and C.

When was the last time you could see your whole body in the mirror?

You have two brain cells; one is lost, and the other is out looking for it.

What did Michael Scott say to someone when he passed a plate of vegetables?

Boom! Roasted!

But when?

I thought God didn't make mistakes, but then I saw your face.

Your hairline is so far back, it left before your dad.

Your mom is so ugly she made a blind kid cry.

It must be tiring to put makeup on two faces.

You're as tall as a giraffe.

Well, that's why you look like a baked bean!

Your mum went to the dentist so she could install Bluetooth.

Roast

You have such a big forehead it has a 6 pack on it!

You're so ugly that your birth certificate is an apology.

Girl, you and slow are slower than a fairness.

I am not telling you twice, your mouth stinks, so go burn your house down like a crazy mad woman, and I will call the cops like, "WTH," because you are so fat.