Roast jokes

No wonder why I can't find you. You're in the trash bin.

I know your name is baller cause I'm gonna put my baller into yo MOTHER HOLLER!

Your hairline is so big it took your mom a map to find it.

What's the difference between your dad and a boomerang?

The boomerang comes back.

If you had a dollar for every time someone said you're ugly, you'd meet someone who wouldn't say you're ugly.

Yo mom's so old, she was happily accepted into the museum.

Ur mama so fat that when she went to the ocean, all the whales started singing, "We are family," even knowing your fatter than me.

Weirdo: I'm too high to die!

Me: You'll just fall harder.

The only reason communism started was because God looked at your face.

Your mom is so fat that when she went to the dentist, the man said, "One at a time."

You're so fat the only letters of the alphabet you know are K, F, and C.

When was the last time you could see your whole body in the mirror?

You have two brain cells; one is lost, and the other is out looking for it.

What did Michael Scott say to someone when he passed a plate of vegetables?

Boom! Roasted!

But when?

I thought God didn't make mistakes, but then I saw your face.

Your hairline is so far back, it left before your dad.

Your mom is so ugly she made a blind kid cry.

It must be tiring to put makeup on two faces.

You're as tall as a giraffe.

Well, that's why you look like a baked bean!