Roast jokes
Your earlobes are so big, you can fit your mom inside of them 5000 times and still have room for more!
Where's your off button?
Your mom's so poor, she chased the garbage truck with her grocery list.
What’s the difference between a pig and Maddie McCann?
Least a pig had an apple in its mouth when it was spit roasted.
My friend Josh made a joke about Liam's nonexistent hairline, even though Josh has massive ears and his face looks like a monkey's... if they were white.
You are the reason why child abortion still exists in the world.
Your mom is so fat that the photographer had to go to the moon just to click the photo of her belly button.
Hey Siri, what’s in my bank account?
You stupid shit, piece of elephant crap, you’re so ugly that when you were born, your nickname was bastard! You’re so ugly, that your crush fainted in front of you and was proclaimed dead! You’re so ugly that-
(Destroys phone cutely)
You are so fat that when you jump into the pool, everyone gets out.
👱♀️ 👱♂️What is the difference between two blondes and a Libertarian?
A Libertarian hasn't won a presidential election since 1972, and two blondes are too stupid to run in a presidential election.
- Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow dress, people yell "Taxi!"
- Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.
- Yo mama is so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.
- Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.
- Yo mama is so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.
You're so ugly that they faked a whole pandemic just so you can put on a mask to cover that ugly-ass face.
If ugliness was a brick, you would be the Great Wall of China.
Use the roast I put of flat earth.
Shut the fuck up, you fat bitch. You always like to roast others, but you can't walk up the stairs without passing out, you fat, stupid bitch. And I caught you breaking into someone's house just to steal a piece of candy, fat-ass bitch.
When you ask for plastic surgery, they said, "We could not fix you, but the only way is to wear a mask to fix your ugly face."
Your hairline goes back to the first century.
Your eyebrows are far from home just like your dad.
Yo mama so fat and old, she is the reason the Great Depression happened.
Your teeth are so yellow, when you smile, you put the sun out of business.