My battery lasted longer than your sad, depressing life.
Your face is crustier than the Sahara Desert.
Your hairline goes so far back, the dinosaurs saw it before you did.
At school, this gurl was like, "You're ugly!" And I'm like, "Gurl, your mirror cracks the moment you step in front of it."
Your forehead is so big, your entire face is on your chin.
2+2+67+23= Now calculate the mass of the Solar system. Be these questions these days.
Your mom is so fat, she starts with the letter O in the alphabet because O.B.C.D. (Obesity).
Mom asks, "Why are you are THIS show??? It's DISTRACTING you from SCHOOL!!!!!"
The child says, "Don't you mean SCHOOL is distracting ME from this AWESOME show?"
Mom whispers, "Oh, you DEAD."
Mom asks, "Who are you talking to?"
The child said, "A mistake."
You're so fat, when you went on the weighing scale, it said "to be continued."
Bully: I wouldn't bother wasting my time on a shit person like you.
Me: At least I have a brain unlike you.
Bully: Well at least I have a mom unlike you.
Me: Well your mom is so fat that she got stuck in her car and started bleeding Nutella?
Bully: How would you know that?
Me: Because she told me herself.
Bully: How exactly?
Me: She's on the phone right now.
Phone: *High pitched animal noises*
Me: Told you so!
You are so fat that when you wear a yellow raincoat, a running person behind you shouted, "Taxi!"
You're so fat you sunk Captain Crunch's ship.
You're so fat your blood type is Nutella.
Bully: I wasn't talking to you.
Me: Then why are you listening?
When someone says don't talk back to me, say, "I wasn't aware that answering a question was considered talking back."
Some people are such treasures that you sometimes just wanna bury them.
Treat me like a joke, and I will leave you like it's funny.
You're so ugly whenever you say hi, people walk away and say that you were too ugly, and they go take a bath right away because you're so stinky.
They say that you look like your mama. Wait, your mama must be just like you because I can see her way from a mile!
You say you put on perfume, but every time I smell you, you smell like poo-poo. You're so ugly that when your mom looks in the mirror, you cry. You're so stupid the second-grade teacher had to tell you to go all the way to kindergarten. Head Start is every grade below you. You can't even go to the 20th grade, which stands for 9th grade. You can't even go to grocery stores, and people that tell you that you're so ugly give you compliments just to make you feel better. You know that everybody just likes you just because they just don't want to hurt your feelings, so just stay in your mind. Hey, you want to text Matt; you know it was you because every time you see you, you think that you matter. Matter fact, he doesn't even like you; he just wants your money girl. Who even likes you? 😈😈
You're so ugly when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.
Teacher: Okay class, look at the person to the right of you and describe them with one word.
Me: *looks to the right of me and sees the pick-me girl* "Penny."
Teacher: *shocked* How is she a penny?
Me: 'Cause she's two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants. Not to mention worth practically nothing.
