Restaurant jokes
Today I went to get a sub, and they asked me if I wanted all vegetables. I said no, leave some for the rest of the customers.
Waiter: "Here you go, one medium-rare steak."
Me: "I like it well done."
Waiter: "Thanks, that means a lot!"
What is Jeffrey Dahmer's favorite restaurant?
Five Guys.
What's long and black, the line to KFC.
Boss: You're fired.
Me: *turns in my gun and my badge*
Boss: You're a waiter. Where did you get those?
What's gayer than a gangbang in a man sex ring?
Not slapping the ass at Hooters.
Me running from the table where the Emo table with a happy meal.
Donald Trump has been banned from Panera.
Panera Bread.
What do you call it when Panera Bread gets painted red?
Panera Red.
What do you call it when a man wants food in Panera?
Panera bread serving food.
What do you call it when a man gets high in Panera Bread?
Panera sped.
what do you call it when a person dies in Panera Bread?
Panera dead.
What do you call it when a guy named Fred enters Panera Bread?
Panera Fred.
What do you call it when you are very sad in Panera Bread?
Panera Dread.
Who comes when an orphan gets married? They are allowed back in family restaurants, but when I go in alone, I'm not allowed. I have some parents, for God's sake!
Why is vegetable soup hard to cook? Because you can't fit the wheelchair in!
Hello. What can I get you? A knife, mustard, Marella, gorilla?
After standing in line staring at McDonald's menu for 17 minutes,
Me: "Okay, I'm ready. Can you help me not be sad all the time?"
I was at a restaurant and a waitress yelled, "Does anyone know CPR?" I said, "I know the whole alphabet." Everyone laughed and laughed, well, everyone except one.