So I was at a restaurant and I really hit it off with the waitress, so one thing led to another and I'm at her place and she was really nice at the IHOP but when I was there with her she was all like "ahhh! what are you doing!?!?!? how did you get in my house?!?!?" and then she punched me and I'm the one who ended up in prison.
When fat people sit down at a restaurant, and you listen closely, you can hear the chair screaming.
When fat people sit down at a restaurant, you can hear the chair screaming.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because KFC was offering free seeds.
Yo mama so fat, she ate McDonald's!
In honor of Diddy:
The ice cream machine at McDonald's now works!
Your mama is so nasty.
She showed up to Red Lobster with her own crabs.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user?
Fast food.
If McDonald's is fast food, then Dairy Queen is fast cream.
What do you call it when you choose Panera Bread over something else?
Panera instead.
What do you call it when Panera Bread commits genocide?
Panera bloodshed.
McDonald's worker be like, "Hello, would you like a Mc-Dick?" (You looked down) You: "Uhh, where's my dick?"
What do KFC and pussy have in common?
Both are finger lickin' good, and after you are done eating, you have a box to put the bone in.
I arrived at a restaurant early and the manager said, "Do you mind waiting a bit?" I said, "I don’t mind," and he said, "OK. Take these trays to table 9."
I was sitting on my own in a restaurant when I saw a beautiful woman at another table. I sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. She sent me a note, “I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pocket.” I wrote back, “Give me the wine. As gorgeous as you are, I'm not cutting off three inches for anyone.”
Why did the rapper go to the seafood restaurant?
Because he heard they had PHAT BASS.
Rapboat says he has a rap career. Wrap career more like, wrapping burgers at McDonald's.
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he wanted to drop some HOT MIXTAPES
What do you call a Chinese assassin?
Chinese takeout.
You can find perfectly cooked Kobe in a Japanese restaurant, but you can only find burnt Kobe in Calabasas.
