Where do orphans go to get a happy meal?
Orph-Donalds
A father and his young son go to a restaurant and to keep him occupied, he gives the boy three pennies to play with. Suddenly, the boy starts choking and his face starts turning blue! The father realizes the boy has swallowed the pennies and starts slapping him on the back... The boy coughs up two of the pennies, but keeps choking.
Looking at his son, panicking, the father starts shouting for help.
A well dressed, serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a nearby table reading from her laptop and sipping a cup of coffee.
At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.
Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants, takes hold of the boy’s testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.
After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last penny, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.
Releasing the boy’s testicles, the woman walks back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word, but keeps the penny.
As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, “I’ve never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?”
“No,” the woman replied. “I’m with the Internal Revenue Service.”
I went to McDonalds and I saw a line of fat people because there were selling free Hamburgers.
KFC doesn't mean Kentucky Fried Chicken, it means "Kill Fat Children."
Joe's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Yesterday's loss is today's sauce.
Welcome to Antonio’s pizza and abortion where yesterday’s lost is today’s sauce
if someone calls you just say this is peters abortion clinic and pizza restaurant were yesterdays loss is today's sauce
Did you hear about the new Chinese food? It is called: “Wuhan Fried Bats”!
At the restaurant, the waitress starts flirting with me. "She must have COVID," my wife said. "Why?" I asked. "'Cause she clearly has no taste." She responded.
What happened to the woman who sliped in a sea food restaurant? Um...I don't know what? She sliped on a mussel!
Why do catholic Irishman in Ireland have a glory hole in the men's restroom inside their restaurants so they can give Irish kisses on Saints Patrick's Day
what does a Catholic Priest and a commercial from the 80s have in common they both ask people "WHERES THE MEAT!"
Where does a Muslim like to go and eat ?
Allah's snackbar!!
Me and my wife were out at dinner me being 48 and her being 19, people where screaming at us and calling me a creep. It realy ruined our 10th anniversary
Im 43 and my date is 19. A man rudely comes up to our table and calls me a pedofile. I told him to fuck off this is our 10th anniversary
Welcome to Jimmy’s orphanage and pizza shop where today’s loss is a sauce how may I help you
What restaurant does Africa own? M.T Bellies
I remember the time that Gordon Ramsay did a African food episode... it was a short episode to bad he couldn’t find any
I called the Chinese takeaway yesterday. A man picked up the phone and said: "Hello! I am Wan Kin, the chef." I said that I'll come back later.
Pastor: I don’t normally swear but tonight I am going to just for the Halibut!
