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Restaurant

Restaurant jokes

McDonald's and the Twin Towers are alike. McDonald's has a drive-through, and the Twin Towers had a fly-through.

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    • Your hairline shape is so badly shaped like a M, me and my friends thought it was McDonald's.

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    • Man: How do you prepare your chicken?

    Waiter: Nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.

    Say the drive through at McDonald's, order (don't say the sake) but when you get it ask them, "My sake?" and say, "Sake that ass."

    One day, I'm going to Malta to a big hotel. In the morning, I go down to eat breakfast. I tell the waitress I want two pieces of toast. She brings me only one piece. I tell her I want a piece. She says, "Go to the toilet." I say, "You don't understand. I want a piece on my plate." She says, "You better not piss on your plate, you son of a bitch." I don't even know the lady, and she calls me a son of a bitch.

    I don't need this shit!!

    Later, I go to eat at the big restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and a knife, but no fork. I tell her I wanted a fork. She tells me everyone wanna fuck. I say, "You don't understand, I want a fork on my table." She says, "You better not fuck on the table, you son of a bitch." I don't even know the lady, and she calls me a son of a bitch.

    I don't need this shit!

    So, I go back to my room in a hotel, and there are no sheets on the bed. I call the manager and tell him I want a sheet. He tells me, go to the toilet. I say, "You don't understand, I want a sheet on my bed." He says, "You better not shit on my bed, you son of a bitch."

    I go to the checkout, and the man at the desk says, 'Peace on you.' I say, 'Piss on you too, you son of a bitch. I'm going back to Italia. Arrivederci!'

    I don't need this shit!

    Moral of the story, don't go to Australia with a Korean accent.

    This is the real reason why the chicken crossed the road.

    Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

    A: To visit his grandmother at KFC.

    Did you hear about the new Oasis restaurant?

    Every time you order soup, you got a roll with it.

    Did you know that McDonald's have a new McScully burger?

    It's a 59-year-old piece of meat in a 2-year-old bun.

    A couple enters a Chinese restaurant and takes their seats.

    The waiter asks, "想吃什么 (Xiang Chi Shen Ma)?"

    The wife responds, "吃鸡巴 (Chi Ji Ba)!"

    A man asked his girlfriend what she wanted to eat one night, and she said "Chinese food," so he took her to China. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Indian," so he took her to India. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Nothin'," so he took her to Africa.

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