Menu

Menu jokes

Man

  • Man asking waitress, "Pardon me, miss, may I ask you about the menu, please?"

    Waitress, "It's none of your business about the men I please!"

  • 0
  • Karma

  • Hear about the restaurant called karma? There is no menu: You get what you deserve.

  • 3
  • Steak

  • "Waiter, my steak is too skinny."

    "It's a strip steak, sir."

    "At these prices, it should not only strip, but sing and dance too!"

  • 0
  • Wine

  • I was sitting on my own in a restaurant when I saw a beautiful woman at another table. I sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. She sent me a note, “I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pocket.” I wrote back, “Give me the wine. As gorgeous as you are, I'm not cutting off three inches for anyone.”

  • 2
  • Restaurant

  • Jesus and his disciples walk into a restaurant.

    Jesus: "A table for 26, please." Headwaiter: "But there's only... 13 of you?" Jesus: "Yeah, we're all going to sit on the same side."

  • 10
  • Michael Jackson

  • In honor of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as other establishments, are introducing the Jackson dog. It's a 50 year old sausage between two 7 year old buns, with everything on it.

  • 1