Restaurant jokes

Welcome to Morgan's Morgue and Pizzeria where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!

What’s the difference between KFC and a woman on her period?

One’s finger-licking good and the other is just a fast food restaurant.

What did the customer ask when he went to the cannibal restaurant?

"Who's the special today?"

Q: What kind of club do roosters go to? A: The Chicken Strip.

I made that one up.

The only thing they can see are their chopsticks.

You're so fat that when you got to McDonald's, they had to call Wendy's for backup.

What do you call an Indian in a Lamborghini?

Curry in a hurry.

Spell "Ihop," and then say, "'Ness, I ate your peanuts!"

My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me.

"She obviously has COVID," my wife said.

"Why?" I asked.

My wife replied with a sneer, "Because she has no taste!"

I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it... We're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.

If you're waiting for a waiter at a restaurant, aren't you the waiter?

Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was assaulted.

Can emos eat a Happy Meal?

Today I went to get a sub, and they asked me if I wanted all vegetables. I said no, leave some for the rest of the customers.

Waiter: "Here you go, one medium-rare steak."

Me: "I like it well done."

Waiter: "Thanks, that means a lot!"

What is Jeffrey Dahmer's favorite restaurant?

Five Guys.

What's long and black, the line to KFC.

Boss: You're fired.

Me: *turns in my gun and my badge*

Boss: You're a waiter. Where did you get those?

What's gayer than a gangbang in a man sex ring?

Not slapping the ass at Hooters.

Me running from the table where the Emo table with a happy meal.