Spell "Ihop," and then say, "'Ness, I ate your peanuts!"
My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me.
"She obviously has COVID," my wife said.
"Why?" I asked.
My wife replied with a sneer, "Because she has no taste!"
I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it... We're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.
If you're waiting for a waiter at a restaurant, aren't you the waiter?
Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was assaulted.
Can emos eat a Happy Meal?
Today I went to get a sub, and they asked me if I wanted all vegetables. I said no, leave some for the rest of the customers.
Waiter: "Here you go, one medium-rare steak."
Me: "I like it well done."
Waiter: "Thanks, that means a lot!"
What is Jeffrey Dahmer's favorite restaurant?
Five Guys.
What's long and black, the line to KFC.
Boss: You're fired.
Me: *turns in my gun and my badge*
Boss: You're a waiter. Where did you get those?
What's gayer than a gangbang in a man sex ring?
Not slapping the ass at Hooters.
Me running from the table where the Emo table with a happy meal.
Donald Trump has been banned from Panera.
Panera Bread.
What do you call it when Panera Bread gets painted red?
Panera Red.
What do you call it when a man wants food in Panera?
Panera bread serving food.
What do you call it when a man gets high in Panera Bread?
Panera sped.
what do you call it when a person dies in Panera Bread?
Panera dead.
What do you call it when a guy named Fred enters Panera Bread?
Panera Fred.
