Roadkill jokes

My friend surprised me for my birthday with a book called ‘Road-Kill Recipes’. I did find some roadkill the other day, so I cooked it according to one recipe and it was delicious. I’m just not sure what I should do with the bicycle.

Welcome to the roadkill cafe, where yesterday's crash is today's cash.

Me: Hey, wanna know my spirit animal?

Friend: Sure.

Me: Roadkill, because I can see my mom pretty clearly now.

Friend: Wait, aren't you dead?

Me: Aren't you my son?

Friend: So that's what Mom was trying to hide from me.

What do you call an emo who just crossed the road? Roadkill.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To become roadkill.

What do you call an idiot who walks on the road when cars are coming?

Fresh roadkill.

What do you call a chomo on the road? Roadkill.

When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and remember, there are no speed bumps.

When you're going 80 mph and hit a speed bump,

Then the speed bump starts screaming.

We wrote letters to a kid with cancer. My letter read, "It's a bumpy road but soon you will have a straight path." People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.

I have a fear of speed bumps. But I am slowly getting over it.