My friend surprised me for my birthday with a book called ‘Road-Kill Recipes’. I did find some roadkill the other day, so I cooked it according to one recipe and it was delicious. I’m just not sure what I should do with the bicycle.
Welcome to the roadkill cafe, where yesterday's crash is today's cash.
Me: Hey, wanna know my spirit animal?
Friend: Sure.
Me: Roadkill, because I can see my mom pretty clearly now.
Friend: Wait, aren't you dead?
Me: Aren't you my son?
Friend: So that's what Mom was trying to hide from me.
What do you call an emo who just crossed the road? Roadkill.
What do you call an idiot who walks on the road when cars are coming?
Fresh roadkill.
What do you call a chomo on the road? Roadkill.
