Roadkill jokes

What do you call a chomo on the road? Roadkill.

My friend surprised me for my birthday with a book called ‘Road-Kill Recipes’. I did find some roadkill the other day, so I cooked it according to one recipe and it was delicious. I’m just not sure what I should do with the bicycle.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To become roadkill.

How did two retarded people get ran over in one second?

They're my friends.

What do you call an idiot who walks on the road when cars are coming?

Fresh roadkill.

Attention to everyone, I'm not going to be on for 2 weeks because I was in a bike accident, or more like a motorcycle accident. I was ran off the road when my 16 year old brother was taking me for a ride. Now I can't use my legs cause, well, you know. I will be taking a break because I don't want to move my legs that much.

Driving on a road at night and hit a speed bump. Remember, there are no speed bumps... I hit Bambi!

When I was in 4th grade, we wrote letters to kids in the hospital. I wrote: "It is a bumpy road but soon it will be a straight path." Not many people know I was talking about their heart monitor.

One time, me and the bois got drunk and we were on the freeway...

...when the road was closed because a wild animal species named “The Cult” was on the loose.

What do you call an emo who just crossed the road? Roadkill.

Me: Hey, wanna know my spirit animal?

Friend: Sure.

Me: Roadkill, because I can see my mom pretty clearly now.

Friend: Wait, aren't you dead?

Me: Aren't you my son?

Friend: So that's what Mom was trying to hide from me.

Welcome to the roadkill cafe, where yesterday's crash is today's cash.