Reproduction jokes

Why did the sperm cross the road?

I put on the wrong socks this morning.

So.. err actually, don’t worry. I was gonna make a joke about dead babies, but I had to abort.

My son caught me masturbating. He asked me, "What are you doing?" and I said, "Don't worry, son, you'll be doing it soon." He asks, "Why is that?" and I said, "My arm's getting tired."

Adam and Eve had 3 male children, the only children on Earth. How did they reproduce?

Welcome to Joe's abortion clinic! No fetus can beat us! You make 'em, we take 'em!

What does a pregnant lady and pigs have in common?

They're both fat.

I would tell you an abortion joke, but it was only temporary.

Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant all her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats,” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “well done?”

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Why did the sperm cross the road?

To fuck the chicken.

Q: How do you stop babies from being conceived through incest?

A: Cum on your cousin's face.

I'd tell a bad baby joke, but I decided to abort.

What does an abortion joke and a fetus have in common... The joke never gets old, and neither does the kid.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.

Jack got high, touched Jill's thigh, and said, "I know you wanna."

But silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a kid.

What do you call a bird orgy?

No bird control.

Why can’t Santa have kids?

He only cums once a year.

What's the difference between my dad cumming and cancer?

Nothing, they both stain.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water.

Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.

After seeing you sing, the dog got disinfected from rabies.

You call me a prostitute's son, I call you test-tube babies.

I was gonna tell a baby joke, but I had to abort.

What is the difference between an egg and a wank? You can beat an egg, but you can't beat your...