Reproduction jokes

So.. err actually, don’t worry. I was gonna make a joke about dead babies, but I had to abort.

I'm not going bungee jumping. I was born by broken rubber, and that's not how I'm going out.

Welcome to Joe's abortion clinic! No fetus can beat us! You make 'em, we take 'em!

Why do they call it abortion? Because they aborted the mission.

I know how unicorns make babies. The dad puts his horn in the girl's butt hole.

Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant all her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats,” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “well done?”

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Q: How do you stop babies from being conceived through incest?

A: Cum on your cousin's face.

After seeing you sing, the dog got disinfected from rabies.

You call me a prostitute's son, I call you test-tube babies.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water.

Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.

Jack got high, touched Jill's thigh, and said, "I know you wanna."

But silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a kid.

Why can’t Santa have kids?

He only cums once a year.

What's the difference between my dad cumming and cancer?

Nothing, they both stain.

What is the difference between an egg and a wank? You can beat an egg, but you can't beat your...

I was gonna tell a baby joke, but I had to abort.

What do you call a bird orgy?

No bird control.

The next time you get a sack call, pick up the phone and say, "Welcome to Pete's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is next week's sauce. How may we help you?"

If a pregnant woman is under water, isn't she technically a submarine?

What do a 14 year old and the fetus inside her both think?

"Man, my mom's going to kill me!"

What's black, white, and red all over? The interracial abortion.

What’s pink, nine inches, and makes my wife cry when I shove it down her throat?

Her Miscarriage.