Reproduction jokes

After seeing you sing, the dog got disinfected from rabies.

You call me a prostitute's son, I call you test-tube babies.

Why can’t Santa have kids?

He only cums once a year.

What's the difference between my dad cumming and cancer?

Nothing, they both stain.

The next time you get a sack call, pick up the phone and say, "Welcome to Pete's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is next week's sauce. How may we help you?"

What’s pink, nine inches, and makes my wife cry when I shove it down her throat?

Her Miscarriage.

If a pregnant woman is under water, isn't she technically a submarine?

What do a 14 year old and the fetus inside her both think?

"Man, my mom's going to kill me!"

What's black, white, and red all over? The interracial abortion.

So, I was fucking my daughter the other night, and I don't know what was funnier, the look on my wife's face, or the fact the abortion clinic let me keep her.

Ugh, don't you just hate it when you're having sex and your parents walk in the room and say, "No more dead babies for your mister, we are running low!"

What’s another name for cumming in a woman?

Loading the dishwasher.

What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich?

I don't f**k a sandwich before I eat it.

Where is the most dangerous place for a human being to be?

In the womb of a woman who wants to abort her unborn baby. 😢

Girl: What is abortion?

Man: Ask your brother.

Girl: But I don't have a brother!

Man: Exactly!

How do you get a hippie chick pregnant?

You cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest.

I can't cum anymore. I can't put children through this.

How are shark eggs and your mom the same? They're both the biggest thing ever laid.

I remember my mom's last words before her divorce, "Did you just load in me?"

What's the best part of not wearing a condom when I'm with my girlfriend? My mom went through menopause.

Any joke can be funny with the right delivery, except abortion jokes, because then there is no delivery.