Reproduction jokes

So, I was fucking my daughter the other night, and I don't know what was funnier, the look on my wife's face, or the fact the abortion clinic let me keep her.

Ugh, don't you just hate it when you're having sex and your parents walk in the room and say, "No more dead babies for your mister, we are running low!"

What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich?

I don't f**k a sandwich before I eat it.

Where is the most dangerous place for a human being to be?

In the womb of a woman who wants to abort her unborn baby. 😢

Girl: What is abortion?

Man: Ask your brother.

Girl: But I don't have a brother!

Man: Exactly!

How do you get a hippie chick pregnant?

You cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest.

I can't cum anymore. I can't put children through this.

How are shark eggs and your mom the same? They're both the biggest thing ever laid.

I remember my mom's last words before her divorce, "Did you just load in me?"

What's the best part of not wearing a condom when I'm with my girlfriend? My mom went through menopause.

Any joke can be funny with the right delivery, except abortion jokes, because then there is no delivery.

What's better than having unprotected sex? Getting an abortion.

Why did two dumb blondes put condoms on the cow's udders because they wanted the cow to practice safe sex?

What does an abortion joke and a fetus have in common... The joke never gets old, and neither does the kid.

"Abortion jokes are like the babies; they never get old."

Q: What did the fetus say to the tongs?

A: See you on the flip side.

Somebody’s son said, "Mom, my dick has white stuff coming out of it." She said, "Oh, good one, son, so when’s the baby coming?"

I was about to make a baby joke but then decided to abort.

What’s another name for cumming in a woman?

Loading the dishwasher.

Burger King got Dairy Queen pregnant during sex, cause he forgot to wrap his Whopper.