Reproduction jokes
Why did the sperm cross the road? ———— because I put on the wrong sock today.
What bees make milk?
Boob bees.
What is an unborn baby's Olympic sport?
Dodge the coat hanger!
Why do cannibals love sex? They can make their own food.
What did one sperm say to the other while swimming side by side?
One turns to the other and asks, "How much further to the fallopian tubes?"
The other says, "I’m not sure, we just passed the esophagus."
A little girl asks her mum, "Mummy how was I born?"
Her mother smiled and replied: "Once upon a time, your daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful little seed. Daddy put it in the earth, and I took care of it every single day."
"The seed slowly grew more and more leaves, and in a few months it turned into a beautiful, healthy plant. So me and Daddy took the plant, dried it, smoked it and got so high that we fucked without a condom!"
Girl: What is abortion?
Man: Ask your brother.
Girl: But I don't have a brother!
Man: Exactly!
GF: Laying down.
BF: GROANING
GF: Are you good at aiming and shooting?
BF: Yeah, why?
GF: Shoot that did in there.
BF: Mmmhuugh
Guess what? If your mom ever wants to have sex with you, tell her to make another.
Why do orphans enjoy orgasms?
As a little boy, I walked in on my parents having intercourse one night, and of course, my parents stopped and sent me back to bed.
The next day my dad tells me, "Don't worry son, I wasn't hurting mommy, we were just trying to make you a little sister."
So, when I was young I always wanted a pet. I then looked at my father and asked, "Could you do mommy doggy style next time? I want a puppy."
Jack and Jill went up the hill to catch some pail of water.
Jack came down, and then Jill came tumbling after, so they had a baby...
What do you call an abortion in a bathtub?
Chunky Tomato Soup.
My superpower is that I can create life.
What's the name of a cannibal's favorite all-you-can-eat buffet? Planned Parenthood!
Jack and Jill went up a hill to do it in the water.
Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.
Q: Do you know why people don't like abortion jokes?
A: Because they leave people with a feeling of emptiness inside.
How do you know if you have a high sperm count?
She chews before she swallows.
I was going to tell a joke about babies, but I decided to abort.
I should probably stop making abortion jokes.
After all, the aborted babies aren't laughing.