Reproduction

Reproduction Jokes

Pregnancy

What does a burnt pizza, cold beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?

Someone didn’t pull it out in time.

Ram

Mary had a great big ram, his fleece was white as snow, when on hands and knees our Mary went, his wad was sure to blow.

Month by month her belly grew, increasing in its girth, and when five months had flown by, our Mary did give birth.

And Mary had a little lamb, a little lamb, a little lamb...

Condom

Hondo's dad and mum went up the hill to do it in the water.

Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a Hondo.

Abortion

Why did the shark fisherman stop at the abortion clinic?

Because dead babies make the best cum.

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  • Orphan

    What do orphans and sperm donor kids have in common? They don't have dads.

    Abortion

    Man, abortion jokes just don't get old, do they?

    In fact, they don't age at all.

    Fetus

    Did you hear about the unborn fetus? Oh wait, never mind, it must have been aborted from the sight.

    Adam

    Adam and Eve had 3 male children, the only children on Earth. How did they reproduce?

    Baby

    So.. err actually, don’t worry. I was gonna make a joke about dead babies, but I had to abort.

    Fetus

    Welcome to Joe's abortion clinic! No fetus can beat us! You make 'em, we take 'em!

    Foot

    How do you get a hippy pregnant?

    Cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest.

    Rubber

    I'm not going bungee jumping. I was born by broken rubber, and that's not how I'm going out.

    Pig

    What does a pregnant lady and pigs have in common?

    They're both fat.