Reproduction jokes
Why can’t Santa have kids?
He only cums once a year.
You'd think the Catholic Church would be thankful for condoms, less DNA evidence.
Are you a printer? Because you turn my soft copy into a hard copy. Dark..Humor :)
How are shark eggs and your mom the same? They're both the biggest thing ever laid.
What’s another name for nutting in a woman?
Loading the dishwasher.
What is the difference between an egg and a wank? You can beat an egg, but you can't beat your...
What do you call a three-humped camel?
Pregnant.
I have more cum in one testicle than you have in your whole penis.
What do cannibals call a pregnant woman?
A Kinder Surprise.
What's similar between a fetus and a failed mission?
You abort it.
What's something similar between a clogged pipe and a pregnant woman?
You fix both with a coat hanger.
Why can’t Helen Keller have kids?
Answer: She’s dead.
If abortion is murder, is jerking off genocide?
Official orgasm donor.
What's a word that starts with "m" and ends in "airage" and all men like it?
Miscarriage. The joke never gets old just like the baby.
What do a 14 year old and the fetus inside her both think?
"Man, my mom's going to kill me!"
Do you know how babies are made? The boy puts his penis in the girl's butt and goes up and down for ten minutes. Then the girl takes a pregnancy test, and if it says no, then you keep doing it until she is pregnant.
The boy will lick the girl down there, and she will put his penis in her mouth and suck it. Then he will spit on his hand and rub it on her boobs and lick/suck them.
Did you hear about the unborn fetus? Oh wait, never mind, it must have been aborted from the sight.
Why did the two balls cross the road?
To get to the penis!
Sorry, too rude?
My dad's the oldest, and when he was young, he shot my grandpa's balls off, but I thought about it. How does my dad have younger brothers?