Religion jokes

When you get a pop-up book of the Qur'an and it just explodes as soon as you turn the page XD.

Why does a penis taste like octopus 🐙?

Stupid question 😒 🙄 even the catholic church ⛪ 🙏 knows that one.

How does Jesus whistle? Through the hole in his hand.

A guy walks into a mosque... then blows up.

Adam and Eve are going through the garden when Adam suddenly says, "What race are we?"

Eve responds with, "Ask God, he will tell you." So Adam goes over to a hill and asks, "God, what race are we?"

God says, "You are what you are."

Adam goes back to Eve and says, "We are white." Eve asks how he knew that. Adam responds with, "If we were black, he would have said 'you is what you is'."

What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?

The anesthesia takes time to put you under.

In Denver, the members of a Sunday-school class were asked to set down their favorite biblical truths.

One youngster laboriously printed: “Do one to others as others do one to you.” —Lee Olson, The Denver Post

Is that a person over there?

Na, it's Jesus.

Why did Jesus create the Devil?

He didn't recognize himself through the time portal.

Jesus lives on a long timeline, so he may seem slow to you.

Is that my student?

Na! It is Jesus!

Yo mama so old.

Her first Christmas... was the first Christmas!

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Jesus.

Jesus who?

Jesus Christ, open the door!

"Thank God there are no of these ahahha ya thank God to pranks."

"Oh I forgot a dance 🕺 😅 joke is good ok for kids."

Why do you think after death the angel says do not be afraid?

Search up biblically accurate angels.

The Ruler of Varvona wanted a fruitcake, but his subjects showed up at his castle with a Christian instead.

And he said: "NO, NO, NO! YOU IMBECILES! NOT THAT KIND OF FRUITCAKE!"

Your hairline goes so far back that it had dinner with Jesus.

A missionary went to visit an orphanage in Thailand. After looking around, he asked the manager, "Why do these kids have numbers instead of names on their shirts? And why are some of them the same?"

The manager smiled and said, "Those are price tags."

Why are people suspicious when a priest yells "Attention Kmart shoppers"?

Boy's pants are half off.

Why did the orphan grow up to be a priest?

So he could be called Father Les.