Religion jokes

I believe Alia is a true god because they say in the beginning there was an explosion.

Why did God create women before men?

He didn’t want any advice on how to do it.

Jesus was drinking when he made you.

A guy asks his priest friend what he wants to eat, and the priest says "bad boys." Then his friend asks, "What kebab do you want?" and the priest says, "B Bricked up Caucasian or Asian will do."

If you got a priest, a Rhodes scholar, and a politician in a room, what would you get?

The Royal Commission.

Alternatively, Tony Abbott.

Why did the orphan go to church?

So he could call someone Father.

They all call it self-baptism. I call it failed suicide.

The Ruler of Varvona wanted a fruitcake, but his subjects showed up at his castle with a Christian instead.

And he said: "NO, NO, NO! YOU IMBECILES! NOT THAT KIND OF FRUITCAKE!"

Your hairline goes so far back that it had dinner with Jesus.

A missionary went to visit an orphanage in Thailand. After looking around, he asked the manager, "Why do these kids have numbers instead of names on their shirts? And why are some of them the same?"

The manager smiled and said, "Those are price tags."

Why are people suspicious when a priest yells "Attention Kmart shoppers"?

Boy's pants are half off.

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.

The bartender looks at them and says, “What is this – a joke?”

What is Jesus's favorite exercise? Cross fit.

You get on an elevator and you find the Pope and Donald Trump cowering from two snarling wolves. In your hand you find a revolver with only two bullets in it... what do you do?

You shoot the Pope and the Donald each in a leg and exit the elevator at the next stop.

What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?

The anesthesia takes time to put you under.

Why did Jesus create the Devil?

He didn't recognize himself through the time portal.

Yo mama so old.

Her first Christmas... was the first Christmas!

"Thank God there are no of these ahahha ya thank God to pranks."

"Oh I forgot a dance 🕺 😅 joke is good ok for kids."

Why do you think after death the angel says do not be afraid?

Search up biblically accurate angels.

In Denver, the members of a Sunday-school class were asked to set down their favorite biblical truths.

One youngster laboriously printed: “Do one to others as others do one to you.” —Lee Olson, The Denver Post