Religion jokes

What do you call a nun on a bike?

Virgin Mobile.

A normal exorcism is getting a demon out of a person, but a reverse exorcism is the devil telling the priest to get out of the child.

What do you call a Mexican fighting a Catholic priest?

Alien vs. Predator.

"A llahu Aks into a bar..."

And it blows up!

What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?

One to trust and the other to thrust.

Did you know that good Catholic girls like to WAP?

Yeah, they are all about Worship and Prayer.

For centuries the Catholic Church censored everything that wouldn‘t fit with their teachings. You know what I call that?

"Chancel culture!"

What God do rats worship?

Cheesus.

Yo mama so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked her to move out the way.

Jesus was drinking when he made you.

Why did the orphan grow up to be a priest?

So he could be called Father Les.

How do you get a nun pregnant?

Dress her up like an altar boy.

What is red, pink, yellow, green, orange?

A black woman dressed for church.

Q: Do you know why God created yeast infections?

A: So women will know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt, too.

I believe Alia is a true god because they say in the beginning there was an explosion.

Why did God create women before men?

He didn’t want any advice on how to do it.

I heard there was a kidnapping.

Don't worry, he woke up in the back of a van.

It was his father's friend who was a priest.

He was just bringing him to church.

What do you call a Christian Asian?

Hao Li.

You are so ugly, when the devil saw you, he said, "Jesus Christ!"

*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long, some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?