Religion jokes

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Jesus.

Jesus who?

Jesus Christ, open the door!

Is that my student?

Na! It is Jesus!

Why do you think after death the angel says do not be afraid?

Search up biblically accurate angels.

In Denver, the members of a Sunday-school class were asked to set down their favorite biblical truths.

One youngster laboriously printed: “Do one to others as others do one to you.” —Lee Olson, The Denver Post

Is that a person over there?

Na, it's Jesus.

What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?

The anesthesia takes time to put you under.

God loved you so much that He gave you one face and started clearing off a place for another.

What do you call a stupid pig? A pious.

What is Jesus's favorite exercise? Cross fit.

What do Jesus and I have in common?

No one knows my real bday either.

Jesus was drinking when he made you.

A guy asks his priest friend what he wants to eat, and the priest says "bad boys." Then his friend asks, "What kebab do you want?" and the priest says, "B Bricked up Caucasian or Asian will do."

They all call it self-baptism. I call it failed suicide.

You are so ugly, when the devil saw you, he said, "Jesus Christ!"

Your hairline goes so far back that it had dinner with Jesus.

Why are people suspicious when a priest yells "Attention Kmart shoppers"?

Boy's pants are half off.

The Ruler of Varvona wanted a fruitcake, but his subjects showed up at his castle with a Christian instead.

And he said: "NO, NO, NO! YOU IMBECILES! NOT THAT KIND OF FRUITCAKE!"

Why did the orphan grow up to be a priest?

So he could be called Father Les.

A missionary went to visit an orphanage in Thailand. After looking around, he asked the manager, "Why do these kids have numbers instead of names on their shirts? And why are some of them the same?"

The manager smiled and said, "Those are price tags."

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.

The bartender looks at them and says, “What is this – a joke?”