Why did Jesus create the Devil?
He didn't recognize himself through the time portal.
Religion Jokes
Jesus lives on a long timeline, so he may seem slow to you.
What is Jesus's favorite exercise? Cross fit.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, God made me pretty, WHAT THE FRICK HAPPENED TO YOU?
Stephen Hawking said there is no god.
God said there is no Stephen Hawking.
You get on an elevator and you find the Pope and Donald Trump cowering from two snarling wolves. In your hand you find a revolver with only two bullets in it... what do you do?
You shoot the Pope and the Donald each in a leg and exit the elevator at the next stop.
What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?
The anesthesia takes time to put you under.
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and says, “What is this – a joke?”
Why did the orphan go to church?
So that they had someone to call father.
What do you call a devil texting you? Travelers on the way. 😈🤣
Q: Do you know why God created yeast infections?
A: So women will know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt, too.
What do you call a nun on a bike?
Virgin Mobile.
God creates dog.
God: "You are man's best friend."
Dog: "That's pretty sexist."
God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak!"
Dog: "....."
God: "And chocolate kills you!"
Dog: "🐶"
A normal exorcism is getting a demon out of a person, but a reverse exorcism is the devil telling the priest to get out of the child.
What do you call a Mexican fighting a Catholic priest?
Alien vs. Predator.
What is red, pink, yellow, green, orange?
A black woman dressed for church.
I believe Alia is a true god because they say in the beginning there was an explosion.
I used to believe everything in the Bible until I read about the Jew giving out the free fish.
What do you call a nun on a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
What's black, white, and red all over? A nun on her period.
