Religion jokes

You're so short that I had to ask God why he made you short-ass toothpick legs.

What's the difference between a Catholic Priest and a pedophile?

One is Catholic.

What did the priest say to the skunk?

Let us spray.

Boy goes to Confession.

Boy: "What are you doing, father?"

Priest: "It's called masturbation and soon you will be doing it."

Boy: "Why do you say that, father?"

Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired."

What do you call the nun that hates?

For Paul Walker, Mother Teresa.

What did God say to the good shepherd?

Nothing.

A policeman walks up to a van with two priests and says, "We're looking for two child molesters."

The priests both look at each other for a moment and then say, "Okay, we'll do it."

I recently learned that churches won’t let trans men become priests because they don’t consider trans men as men, which is rather confusing to me.

As a Jew, I don’t know very much about Christianity, but from what I’ve heard, don’t priests love little boys?

Why do Catholic priests suck on the cock of a young boy in his parish?

Because it tastes like a Vienna sausage.

If Satan is the devil, he's pretty sus.

What does a priest and a wristwatch have in common? They both start at 12.

I told her roses are red, violets are blue. God made me pretty, what the hell happened to you! MF😅🤣😂

What is Jesus's favorite exercise?

Cross Fit.

What did Jesus say when he was left hanging on the cross?

"Well this is one hell of a way to spend my Easter vacation!"

If you're a crucified savior, clap your hands.

The worst part about church is that you're constantly switching between sitting, standing, and kneeling. I mean, why can't the priest just pick a position and f**k me already!

What do you call a Muslim sleepover?

Osamas in Pajamas.

A wise man once said, "don't think young, think tight." He was a priest.

Why does Jesus hate Skittles?

Because they fall through his hands.

Did you know that lots of graves are put in churchyards?

Yeah, they're pretty holey.