Religion jokes
What did the priest say to the other priest during baptism?
"We better clean our sex toys before we play with them."
Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms?
They'll fall right through his hands.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One is for Sunday morning, and one is for Sunday night.
What did Jesus say when he was left hanging on the cross?
"Well this is one hell of a way to spend my Easter vacation!"
Islamic pubs and bars are the worst.
You can't drink alcohol or dance.
Women can get stoned though, no questions asked.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One serves the nailed to the cross, one nailed by her boss.
Boy goes to Confession.
Boy: "What are you doing, Father?"
Priest: "It's called masturbation, and soon you will be doing it."
Boy: "Why do you say that, Father?"
Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired!"
-not my joke
"And the Lord said unto John, 'Come forth and receive eternal life,' but John came fifth and got a toaster."
Ever wonder how a Jehovah’s Witness spreads their word during Covid?
Now that you’re here, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?
What do you call a space Muslim?
A Tusken Raider.
I believe everything in the Bible until I read about the Jew giving out the free fish.
What did the teacher say to the fat Turkish kid that always ate in his class?
"You could do with Ramadan lasting all year, couldn't you?"
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture? You need only one nail to hang a picture, unfortunately.
What do u call a Muslim praying: Allahu akbar.
If a priest listens to sad music in his church, he really enjoys being deep in minor.
Why don't churches have WiFi?
They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
Q: What do Moses and hookers have in common?
A: They've dealt with a burning bush.
Your mom is so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mom to move out of the way.
There never was a historical Jesus Christ. Hey, do not even dream of crucifying me.
Q: Why can’t Jesus make fun of gay people?
A: He got nailed first.