What's the difference between 5% of priests and 5% of atheists?
5% of atheists have seen a ghost.
5% of priests have spooked altar boys in the sacristy.
What do you call a priest that likes juice?
A Capriest Sun.
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and the devil?
The devil always has horns... not just around children.
I’m not religious, but you’re the answer to all of my prayers.
Where do terrorists go for food? The Allah snack bar.
"Nun" means no one likes them. Just take off that dumb hood!
The dear God created the man.
Then he created woman.
When he then saw what he had done, he took care of tobacco and alcohol.
Why did God steal a rib from Adam and make a woman out of it?
God wanted to show that nothing sensible can come of stealing!
Poultry rape is no joke. It is God's gift to those who want a laugh.
What do u call a Muslim praying: Allahu akbar.
Repeat after me: Die angle; die angle; sweetie. Angels don't die! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Reverend Mother walks into the convent and announces:
"Sisters, our carrots have been delivered!"
Nuns exclaim: "Hurray! Carrots!"
Reverend Mother: "They are grated carrots, though."
Nuns: "Ugh! No, thank you then..."
What’s the difference between a Catholic and a rabbit?
One has kids to protect from predators, and the other has kids for predators.
Yo mama so fat, she the reason why Moses split the Red Sea.
"Jesus loves you" is a wonderful thing to hear in church.
But a horrible thing to hear in a Mexican prison.
What made Adam and Eve's marriage perfect?
He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about his Mom's cooking.
They say you should love your neighbor. Does that mean I have to love the president?
What do priests give children?
Syphilis.
How do you know Adam and Eve were white?
Have you ever tried taking a rib from black women?
What’s a priest's favorite sport?
Golf, because most of the holes are less than 18.
