Religion jokes
No one.
Why are priests called father?
I don’t know why.
Because calling them daddy is too suspicious.
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and says, “What is this – a joke?”
After God created 24 hours of alternating darkness and light, one of the angels asked him, "What are you going to do now?" God said, "I think I'm going to call it a day."
Q: What do the St. Louis Rams and Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell, “Jesus Christ.”
What's a similarity between The Ark of the Covenant, The Holy Grail and a bunch of 12 year olds? They are all locked in the Priest's basement.
I’m a god, and I’m here to flex on you bitches. My flight to New York on September 11th was rocky, but I lived.
Imagine dying on a plane, fr. At least try and respawn:/
Meya eats meat all her sins is go off when she eat meat.
Have you seen my uncle?
Jesus: I have.
God: Me too.
Adam and Eve are going through the garden when Adam suddenly says, "What race are we?"
Eve responds with, "Ask God, he will tell you." So Adam goes over to a hill and asks, "God, what race are we?"
God says, "You are what you are."
Adam goes back to Eve and says, "We are white." Eve asks how he knew that. Adam responds with, "If we were black, he would have said 'you is what you is'."
I wanted to open a brothel in the monastery, but the slogan: "Fist some Christs" was, unfortunately, not so well received.
Why do priests appreciate educated children?
They don't spit.
What's the difference between Jesus and the baby I have in my basement?
Jesus died a virgin.
Which company likes Jesus the most?
IHS Markit!
The existence of the word "priest" implies the existence of "prier" and "pri".
They say we will have eternal life when Jesus is no longer coming.
And God said to John, "Come forth, and you shall be granted eternal life."
But John came fifth and won a toaster.
I believe Alia is a true god because they say in the beginning there was an explosion.
And the Lord said unto John, “Come forth and you will receive eternal life.”
But John came fifth, and he got a toaster.
Three nuns die in a car crash, but they all make it to heaven. They're standing at the pearly gates, and Saint Peter says to them, "Don't worry, you're going to get in, but first I need you to answer these questions."
He asks the first nun, "What was the name of the first woman?" The nun says, "Eve." Saint Peter says, "Go on in."
Then he asks the second nun, "Where did Adam and Eve live?" The second one says, "The Garden of Eden." Saint Peter says, "You can go through."
Finally, he gets to the third nun and says, "What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?" The nun stands there a little confused and says, "Boy, that's a hard one." Saint Peter, shocked, goes, "That's correct! Go on in."
Do you want to know what gifts God gave me?
He didn't give me any.
I was made by the Devil.