Religion jokes
What's the difference between a priest and a rabbi? A rabbi cuts it off, a priest sucks it off.
Why did the emo kid hate the nun? (Cuz nun of them were emo.)
Person: "How many people have you had intercourse with?"
Me: "Nun."
What's the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One is glowing and the other is blowing.
What do u call a Muslim praying: Allahu akbar.
Tum tum tum tum tum Sahur
Did you fall from Heaven? Because so did Satan.
What does a priest hold on to when having sex?
He holds on to the schoolbag.
[god creating alligators]
God: See that log?
Angel: Yes...?
God: Now fill it with teeth.
Angel: Say again?
God: FILL IT WITH TEETH!
What's the difference between Jesus and Christmas tree lights?
They can both flash.
My dad died in 9/11. He was a Muslim pilot.
Q: What's the difference between me and a priest? A: A priest isn't turned on by dead children.
Have you heard of the new sequel to "The Exorcist"?
A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son.
There's no smoke or fire without a Muslim.
What do you call a Catholic priest who molests children?
A Catholic priest.
Why is Lani Jesus? Go die.
What did the cop say to the muslim breaking the law?
"That's against th-Allah (read like da-law)."
Guy: Why can't Jesus have M&M's?
Priest: Why?
Guy: Because they'll fall through the hole in his hands.
Jesus will be history when I realize he's behind me.
A pedophile and a priest run a race.
You can’t beat yourself in a race!
What's the difference between Jesus and a hooker?
The face you make when you nail them.