Religion

Religion Jokes

What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?

One says, "God is my father." The other says, "Who's the father and who is my son?"

The little girl's dad was Jewish and her mom was Catholic. Mom had been taking the little girl to church every Sunday.

One Sunday, during High Mass, the little girl whispers to her mom, “Mom, can we go home now?”

“No honey, not yet,” replied the mother, “the Mass is only half over.”

“Then we can go now, Mom. I'm half Jewish.”

Imagine if you were an Arabic person shopping at Walmart with your son.

Now imagine he got lost and you had to start calling out his name.

...Now imagine his name is "Allahu Akbar."

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The first priest asks the second, "How long do we keep the babies in the holy water?" The priest replies, "No clue... I close my eyes when I masturbate!"

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Me and Jesus are really close; he even turns the light on for me when I go pee in the middle of the night. Well, that is what I thought until the fridge was wet.

Me: You know what's the favorite slogan that Hindus like the most?

My friend: What?

Me: “kati supari kata paan katiyo ko bhejo pakistan.”

A priest and Rabbi run out of the orphanage.

Priest: "How the hell did that fire start?"

Rabbi: "I don't know, but what about the children?"

Priest: "Fuck the children."

Rabbi: "Do we have time?"

Priest: "There's always time for something like that."

This 15-year-old girl wanted a cross on her room with a long nail on the end over her bed. Unfortunately, it killed her dad because it fell off the wall.

(Do you get the joke?)

(Her dad was on her, and it fell and killed him.)