Religion jokes
Repeat after me: Die angle; die angle; sweetie. Angels don't die! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Why do people think Jesus is going to come back? He wasn’t nailed to a fucking boomerang!
What pizza 🍕 do you order for Christmas?
Cheeses Crust!
When you get a pop-up book of the Qur'an and it just explodes as soon as you turn the page XD.
I have a confession. I used to be a Christian.
Don’t bother me none, babe!
Awesome! I much prefer being a Christine!
“Hol up”
HELP! I MIGHT BE A RELIGIOUS EXTREMIST BECAUSE MY RHYMES ARE DA BOMB.
Why did Aaron slit his wrists?
Because it's him.
What’s a nun's weapon of choice?
Nun-chucks.
I went up to my mom and asked how humanity started. She said it started with monkeys, so I went up to my dad and asked. My dad said it all started with Adam and Eve, so I told my dad that mom said humanity started with monkeys, and dad said mom was telling her side of the story. LOL🤣
You'd think the Catholic Church would be thankful for condoms, less DNA evidence.
What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?
Acne doesn't cum on a kid's face 'til they're 13 or 14.
What job do you want if you don't want people's twos since?
A Catholic priest.
Satanism is such an ugly word. I prefer the term, "red skin appreciation."
What is a reverse exorcism?
It’s when the demon tells the priest to get out of the child’s body.
THERE IS NO AFTERLIFE.
Me playing a game........ What, did God just stop our hearts because he didn't kill everybody?
"My dick fell off in the shower!" suddenly a bright flash of white lights. You see God smiling at you. "Joseph, where is your wiener, little one?" He says, chuckling lightly.
What is a similarity between priests and doctors?
They both have fetishes for their professions.
Have you heard about the dyslexic devil worshipper?
He sold his soul to Santa.
Why can't religious women be raped? Because they are taught to never say no!