Religion jokes
What is red, pink, yellow, green, orange?
A black woman dressed for church.
I believe Alia is a true god because they say in the beginning there was an explosion.
I used to believe everything in the Bible until I read about the Jew giving out the free fish.
What do you call a nun on a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
What's black, white, and red all over? A nun on her period.
For centuries the Catholic Church censored everything that wouldn‘t fit with their teachings. You know what I call that?
"Chancel culture!"
Why did God create women before men?
He didn’t want any advice on how to do it.
What did God say when he made the first woman?
"Where is your dick at?"
"A llahu Aks into a bar..."
And it blows up!
Yo mama so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked her to move out the way.
Yo mama so fat, she fell off the judgement room and broke the 7 layers of hell.
What God do rats worship?
Cheesus.
*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long, some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her up like an altar boy.
What would you throw between a priest and a nun? A bottle of whiskey.
It's best not to say "Hail Satan" because he can't control the weather!
And Mary said God had given her a child, so Joseph went and joined Fathers For Justice.
God created everyone unique till he got to Asia, then it just went to copy paste, copy paste.
Q: What's the difference between me and a priest? A: A priest isn't turned on by dead children.
What do you call an orphan that grows to be a priest?
Fatherless.