"Jesus can turn water into wine, but I can turn your mother into mine."
- Sun Tzu, *The Art of Creating War*
Religion Jokes
My friend just told me about reverse exorcisms.
In these, the demon tells the priest to get out of the child.
I heard there was a kidnapping.
Don't worry, he woke up in the back of a van.
It was his father's friend who was a priest.
He was just bringing him to church.
What do you call a Christian Asian?
Hao Li.
A guy asks his priest friend what he wants to eat, and the priest says "bad boys." Then his friend asks, "What kebab do you want?" and the priest says, "B Bricked up Caucasian or Asian will do."
What do Jesus and I have in common?
No one knows my real bday either.
What do you call a stupid pig? A pious.
God loved you so much that He gave you one face and started clearing off a place for another.
Why are people suspicious when a priest yells "Attention Kmart shoppers"?
Boy's pants are half off.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Jesus.
Jesus who?
Jesus Christ, open the door!
Is that my student?
Na! It is Jesus!
Why do you think after death the angel says do not be afraid?
Search up biblically accurate angels.
In Denver, the members of a Sunday-school class were asked to set down their favorite biblical truths.
One youngster laboriously printed: “Do one to others as others do one to you.” —Lee Olson, The Denver Post
Is that a person over there?
Na, it's Jesus.
Yo mama so old.
Her first Christmas... was the first Christmas!
The Ruler of Varvona wanted a fruitcake, but his subjects showed up at his castle with a Christian instead.
And he said: "NO, NO, NO! YOU IMBECILES! NOT THAT KIND OF FRUITCAKE!"
Why did the orphan grow up to be a priest?
So he could be called Father Les.
Your hairline goes so far back that it had dinner with Jesus.
A missionary went to visit an orphanage in Thailand. After looking around, he asked the manager, "Why do these kids have numbers instead of names on their shirts? And why are some of them the same?"
The manager smiled and said, "Those are price tags."
"Thank God there are no of these ahahha ya thank God to pranks."
"Oh I forgot a dance 🕺 😅 joke is good ok for kids."
