Religion jokes

What's a little white dot on a priest's dick? A baby tooth.

I would like to die like my Islamic father, in his sleep, but not like the rest of the people in the plane or those in those identical towers.

I went up to my mom and asked how humanity started. She said it started with monkeys, so I went up to my dad and asked. My dad said it all started with Adam and Eve, so I told my dad that mom said humanity started with monkeys, and dad said mom was telling her side of the story. LOL🤣

POV: You are a passenger on September 11th, 2001, and you see the pilots wearing a Muslim turban.

Your mama is so fat, even God couldn't raise her spirit.

Your mama is so ugly.

The Buddhist monks broke their vow of silence.

Your mama is so old, her first Christmas, she was a Wiseman's +1.

Yoo! I found a $100 bill, found a child who said they lost their $100 bill. Gave them $25.

When God gives you glory, you give it back.

You are so ugly, when the devil saw you, he said, "Jesus Christ!"

A priest says to me, "Come up, my child." Then I said, "Do I know you? Because you're not my father."

All you pro-life Christian motherfuckers can go die, lol.

Why do Roman Catholics have so many kids?

So there’s more for the priest.

What kind of book does cheese read at a church?

The Hole-y Bible.

You're so short that I had to ask God why he made you short-ass toothpick legs.

What's the difference between Jesus and a painting of him?

Well, it only takes one nail.

Yo mama so fat, she had to get baptized at SeaWorld!

A nun going down a water shoot? She never felt so wet in all her life!

Nun's worst holiday? Norfolk.

Nun's best holiday? Bangkok.

What place has more boys than the Catholic Church? Michael Jackson's bedroom.

Why did Michael Jackson like having little boys round him? He was studying for the priesthood.