One day I was at church. I had to sit down. I said, "Who in the world stinks?" I looked down. Turns out it was me, and this is not a joke, but funny.
Why do Roman Catholics always call their minister father?
because Roman Catholic men between 18-29 years old received a free anonymous blowjob inside the confessional booth at the glory hole.
What to gift a child molester who already has everything? A bigger county with more believers.
Do you know how to make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
What do a politician and a minister have in common?
Both of them will tell you anything to get money from you.
What is the difference between giving money to a prostitute and giving money to a church? A prostitute won't tell you that it is more blessed to give than it is to receive.
What is the difference between giving money to a prostitute and giving money to a church? You don't get something in return if you give money to a church.
What is the difference between giving money to a church and giving money to the IRS?
If you stop giving money to a church, you won't go to prison.
What do the initials BIBLE stand for?
Bull In Book Lacking Evidence
Why did the Catholic priest suck dick at a glory hole?
Because someone asked him what he would do for a Klondike bar.
How do you trick a Catholic priest into using the glory hole at an adult bookstore? Tell him it is a confessional booth.
What does a glory hole and a confessional booth have in common?
A blowjob is anonymous.
Heterosexual sodomy is like religion. If you were forced to accept it when you were younger, you probably would not like it when you become an adult.
In what ways do nuns and hoes have something in common?
They both worship on their knees. They are both creatures of habit. They both take vows of poverty and obedience. Once chosen, neither can leave the life. They both swallow their hosts.
Why can't Jesus play hockey?
He keeps getting nailed to the boards.
Why do orphans go to church on family day? cuz they get to spend time with their father.
If it's true what they say and I quote, "God never gives you more than you can handle," then you should pray to those who didn't, that God gave them a body strong enough to survive the attempt.
What goes black, white, black, white, down a hill?
A fat nun.
What is the difference between a priest and a doctor?
The doctor doesn't like to give physicals.
What did the cop say to the muslim breaking the law?
"That's against th-Allah (read like da-law)."
